What a difference a weekend makes! EDGE 2012 Send Me Away - I WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dearest DG Family,

HI!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my gosh, I am so totally overwhelmed! I want to take this moment to say THANK YOU to EVERYONE who voted for me. I was truly surprised! And, I realize YOU believe in me more than *I* do!

You see, all the contestants found out about being a finalist in the contest about 2 weeks after I posted the Essay Contest (a separate contest run exclusively by the DG family here on the website), and I know I speak for so many of the contestants that it was a REALLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYY long wait!

The second I found out I had become a finalist, my family was so surprised. They'd originally told me I was wasting my time working on that 'dumb' video and I'd NEVER win. So, I want YOU to take from that, that just because someone; ANYONE in your life tells you you won't, can't, never, impossible BS... AD NASEUM ***D O N ' T L I S T E N TO T H E M F O R A N Y R E A S O N!!!!***

The second I found out I was a finalist, I told myself 'I'm GOING TO WIN this contest'. I didn't really believe it, but I wrote it down anyway, posted it right where I do the majority of my computer work, and was forced to look at it everyday and read it at least 20 times a day. 'I WILL WIN THE DEAN GRAZIOSI SEND ME AWAY CONTEST'. Lesson from this one is this. Write down your goals, put them where you can see them often, repeat daily, and start to SEE and ENVISION yourself accomplishing that goal. Set dates of when you will accomplish them and LEARN to believe it!!!

Even though I did the above, I still knew my competition was fierce! I mean, come on, KEITH (keb64)... What an AMAZING story you have! And TOM AND JERI, absolutely INCREDIBLE!!!! Blake, wow, how truly incredible it is to see real deals like this! And JAMES AND SHELIA BUNCH... my gosh, $10K CASHFLOW a month, what a motivational story! I am so proud of you guys! And Hiram, my gosh, I loved the wonderful view and all the efforts of your work, and how REAL and down to earth your video is! LIFE gets in the way all the time. And Regan, amazing success. ALL of you were deserving of the win, I am so grateful to be in the company of winners like you ALL are!

I am STILL soaking this in. Even though I wrote down that I would win, I struggle, still with confidence, and I didn't believe it was possible. Dean shared at the very beginning of the EDGE the number ONE thing to protect is your CONFIDENCE. I put forth confidence, but I have those GAPS of self doubt and being so harsh on myself. I have negativity surrounding me constantly. We treat ourselves worse and are more critical of ourselves than anyone else.

But, I did what was UNCOMFORTABLE to me, and through my whole journey, I've been investing in ME and working on ME and resurfacing the me that has been buried for so many years. I can't go into too much detail here as this post is already getting HUGE but, I've been repeating to myself all these negative things I've told myself about ME and the negative other people have been saying about me for so long now, that I have within me a constant battle going on within me to claim my confidence and destroy it. RG Williams was a speaker this Edge event, and he said this. 'YOU NEED TO ESCAPE THE PRISON OF YOUR OWN EXPERIENCES'

I have slowly been working on doing this, but (and this is what I tried to say while I broke out in tears at the microphone) but, this reality that hit me this weekend, that I don't really believe in myself or have as much confidence as I should have. You have no idea what winning this contest means to me, I am really, truly FOREVER grateful to EVERYONE here at this site that has made this a reality for me. THANK YOU SO MUCH...

and DEAN.. you are the most WONDERFUL, unselfish person alive. You give SO much of yourself and you are out there CHANGING LIVES phenomenally. Having this contest is just so mind blowing (I can't even TYPE without crying... STILLL!!!!). I am still pinching myself saying 'am I dreaming?'... but this weekend... I TRULY ESCAPED THE PRISON OF MY OWN EXPERIENCES... and I will NEVER go back.

Its forward from here on out. In the back of my heart I had that silent confidence, but its been cloaked and shielded by a tall exterior wall barricading it from realizing who I really am. That wall has been CRUMBLED, and I thank you and your team SO MUCH. Over the past 2 years, I've become better and better at blocking the things that stop me, and removing the obstacles, but its all been about mindset.

I've read so many motivational books, but YOU DEAN are the one whose blogs I have EVERY week, and DG FAMILY, you are the ones I've relied on through all my struggles when I had no where else to go. THANK YOU!!!

Dean, you have taught me to snicker on the inside. I am so grateful, and I love you and all your team! (Especially you Mike and Tony and Megan, wow, you guys are all so wonderful!!!) And to follow in the footsteps of MATT LARSON and CAROL STINSON, WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!

PS: Should I share what I did with the book, or should I wait to tell that story some other time?