Look At Crazy Question on Earnest/Exit Clauses!!!

Hey DG Family, quick question about earnest money & exit clauses.

My only block in moving forward is earnest money, i have no steady income or a bank account at the moment. I was thinking i could open up a new checking account and have sum checks to write my $500 - $1000 EMD. Even if all the money is not all there, im sure the copy of the check should work until i get EMD from end buyer. Could this really work, as long as my exit clauses are accepted with offer to FSBO or EVEN REO’s?
These are my exit clause ideas, are they worded correctly, wat could i change to make offers more solid?

1. This contract is contingent on buyers walk through & inspection up to 20 days from date of acceptance.

2. This offer is subject to inspection approval, once completed earnest money will be provided in 14 - 20 days. If EMD is not provided in 20 days from offer acceptance, contract is null & void.
"EMD TO BE CASHED AT THE CLOSSING".

or
Is it also possible to make a cash offer with the EMD inside the cash offer. (As whole)

example:
3. Offer & earnest money subject to all cash in the amount of $80,000...
(the total offer price)

I feel this is the last hurdle i need to jump so i can officially submit offers to my Realtor. just tryna get around Earnest money i dont have. WILL THESE TERMS WORK FOR REOS's ALSO... Please help little old me...lol...