Weekly Wisdom #254 - Leopards Changing Spots

Simply put, new things aren't easy! It can be scary but as a believer I am more than a conquerer through Christ Jesus, so I just move forward in faith through His strength knowing that even though I didn't know what I was doing when I first started, now I am able to talk to agent's, buyers, inspectors, surveyors and any one else with confidence Change is good and will bring confidence in other aspects of your life. Galatians 220

I literally can't get over what an outstanding inspiration he is. Have any of the rest of you ever sat down to watch a Weekly Wisdom after receiving your email and quite literally feel like he was talking to you in specific? .... every time? .... or is that just me? Hahah, either way, I love what he's doing, and I hope he doesn't stop making these videos for many, many years to come.

Its been weeks, since I last signed in or visited Carol Stinson's site. I let other things get in the way of focusing on wholesaling or just bird dogging. Including unforeseen medical issues.

If it were'nt for you Dean I wouldn't know half the knowledge as I do now. I can now begin to re-focus and take ACTION in earning some money.
But, like you I to shy away from confrontation and will do everything to avoid it. A change is needed.

Some THINGS I was SCARED OF/NOW I HAVE IMPROVED UPON THEM
-Buiding a huge buyers list
-Cutting out negative people in my life
-Setting goals/managing my time better
-Learning how to screen cash buyers using the 3 rules
-Following up on birddogging leads

This is what happens when doubt sets in--

THINGS I AM Still SCARED OF But look forward to improving them:
-Not earning any money
-Placing offers
-Contacting a Seller to place offers on a property
-Contacting agents to place offers
-Joining REI Clubs
-Settting up my buyers, sellers, and birdog website

This leopard is certainly ready to change. I have about 6 more
weeks of thearpy...but, I can get in a lot of reading to re-fresh my memory and to see what's new.

Thank you so much Dean and as always Many Blessings

Hi Dean, as always a great WW. I wanted to thank you for taking time and being thoughtful enough to dig even deeper than usual and coming up with ideas to share with the world.
I appreciate it and will continue on my journey with Real Estate.

Thank you Dean for the weekly wisdom. My biggest fear is similar to yours. I really avoid confrontation. I do not like it as it tends to bring this big tough guy down and makes me feel weak.

The other issue I have is rejection. I guess that is one of my bigger issues on why I have yet to jump in. I contantly look for places and research and learn for this businees. I even help others make decisions but have yet to jump in. I think I am scared of disappointing others if it does not work on the first try. Which may deminish my drive to succeed in real estate.

The main reason I want to do this is to provide a future for my children. If nothing else, I want them to have a good education paid for so they do not start there lives off in debt as I did.

Once again, thank you for taking time to talk about this topic. I need to and will work through this and hopefully when I return from Afghanistan, I can get into this and make that first purchase!

Dean, I have been involved in real estate investing since 2000. I did incredible from 2000-2006. When the market crashed I was not ready, and it was do to my lack of knowledge and the lack of myself not aligning myself with the people. From 2006-2009 I shut down on improving myself and was scared that I would let my family and friends down. I survived with what I had built the previous years and I was comfortable in my plateau.
Then in 2009 your event The Edge came into my radar. I started reading your books, attending your events, buying different educational programs. Slowly climbing. I have not taken advantage of your Success Academy, yet. But I am. I'm ready to continue climbing for myself and my loved ones. I love my regular job as a Police Officer, that I have been doing for 19 years, but my passion is real estate. I do change lives as a Police Officer, but not i am ready to change different types of lives. I am not fearful to fail because i know with the right people in my corner, I will get up, even stronger.

I"VE BEEN READING ABOUT REAL ESTATE FOR A LONG TIME NOW. I KNOW THAT I WILL OVERCOME THE FEAR AND DOUBT AND PICK UP THE COURAGE BY JUST BIENG HERE. DEAN, YOUR ORGANIZATION AND THIS SITE ARE FULL OF POSITIVE STUFF.

I'm scared of myself it seems like im a failure through out my whole life even as a real estate investor.I took advantage of doing the insider elite for a month and really pushed on studying all i could and i don't even have a buyers list yet.I even failed at my seven whys and my goal setting.I want my first deal some day soon.I have to do this .I may not win your pc but i have to find a way to succeed.

I agree that you will not make any money if you don't go out there and talk to people. Practice makes perfect. Good thing, there's a lot of people out there to talk too.
Thanks again

Hi Dean,
I really am very excited to begin my journey with your fabulous training. I recently purchased 4 of your books and started reading one today. My fear is not knowing how to begin so I am hopeful that with reading the books I will have a recipe for success. I am goal oriented and a visionary yet I feel I need to know all the ingredients in order to begin. I believe in you Dean and I really see that you are genuine. My "why" is huge....to help my children and family. I so want to succeed with this to show them that if I can do this they can too. I would love to bring hope into their lives. I will do as much as I can to learn and apply the techniques that you are providing for me to succeed. Thank you so much Dean.
Barb

Here are some things that I have issues:
Being successful in Real Estate
Confrontation
Self doubt

These are things that I want to change

1. Since I am financially broke I fear most the lack of finances to begin
2. I am afraid that if I do get started I dont have any properties to even offer anyone
3. Once I get a list of buyers how will I go about acquiring properties that I can hand off or sell with no money to invest.
4. I have tried in the past to wholesale and failed miserably, how do I get started again , My faith has failed where that is concerned.

Wow, I can't believe that I was feeling lost as of late. Today I get a chance to check out your weekly log, and presto, it's like you knew what I was thinking. my JOB is stressful, as the hospital was bought by another group, so we are in many transitions. I have been so engulfed with the work, I truly haven't had time or energy to really delve into real estate. I know now that it if truly is to be, it is truly up to me!!

Thanks for this weeks wisdom, it was very fitting.

Martha

Yes, we all have our own fears, and Thank You for stating you have some also!
However, when your already stressed with the normal problems and money required to just get through daily life, even while receiving a paycheck from someone else it's even harder!
After being a Realtor for years, getting into Real Estate Investing without $$$$ to back you up is the hardest thing I have ever done. But, after listening to you and the coaches...I am very happy to say I have made many offers.
Out of fear, I was pleased that some were not accepted. Then, very disappointed about others that were refused so I am still working on them!
Again, Thanks to You, I am going forward.
Ginny

A year ago, I went to an informational meeting about making $ in real estate. I spent the 3 grand on the program. A month later, I went to the 3-day seminar learning about the amazing support and education available and spent 50 grand on the diamond package. A month later, I attended the Boots on the Ground 4 hours away since there was none being offered near my hometown. Then in January I went to the Buying Summit, and in February, had my 3 days with a mentor. Fast forward to today. I have read and followed all the steps in the 30 Days to Real Estate Cash. I spent a LOT of time educating myself on all the information I could find. I joined Insiders' Elite and spent $250+/mo. Two weeks ago, I got a property under contract, then two, then three... all at once after months of making offers. NOW, I'm at the end of my inspection period with zero interest from my long list of buyers on ANY of the three properties. The 50 grand+ I've spent on this business was near ALL I have, and now I can't roll a property. If you read these things and you have a heart, I just want help. I NEED help. I've put my faith in you and all your experience and wisdom, and I need to know that at some point, I haven't thrown away my financial security on a dream that has no hope of working. Please... help me.

Hello Dean,

It is amazing how your bits of wisdom seem to hit home so often. I have been in the exact place you are referring to for a long time now. I hae been letting the world dictate what happens to my family lately. With the help of the DG family I am hoping to get back on track and take control of my family again. Thanks for your gracious dedication to us and may God continue to bless you and yours.

As usual you give great advice! It just sounds great!

My biggest obstacle in life is that I try to make myself believe i'm not smart enough to try something new. I have goals I want to accomplish, but there is always a small voice in the back of my head trying to tell me "you can't learn that, its too complicated", or "you will fail if you try to do that". I've been letting that small voice hold me back from a lot of things that I would like to do in life. I'm ready to tell that voice that I'm good enough! I'm smart enough! and I will succeed at ANYTHING I put my mind too!

Thank you Dean for all of your inspirational videos. They have made me realize my potential and I feel like I am ready to start my career in real estate and give myself and my daughter a better future.

(Ditto)I have never liked confrontation, and I will do my best to avoid it.Thanks for this video. I hate to say this, hope it doesn't come out the wrong way, but its good to know that someone at your level feels the same way.I'll take what you said in this post/video "to heart" and work on that.Its good info-
Thanks again and have a great week,month,etc. etc.
Aaron B

This is my very first post. Thanks for stepping on my toes a little Dean. I'm 78 years young and have been interested in real estate for many years. I have been reading your material for about 5 years, closed my first property 2 yrs. ago and geting good cash flow. Haven't done anything since except let good deals get away out of fear of risking retirement funds to finance future deals. Hope to get by that, find others ways to finance and get moving again.

Bob

Just beginning and working on overcoming the fear of building (contacting) a buyers list. It is actually helpful reading everyone's comments. It reminds me that most people have fears.

Thank you Dean,
Linda

First time poster, I love imagining how life could be or how I'd like it to be but when I decide to do something New ie, job relationship to step into that vision i begin to experience the "newness dread" ( coined the phrase myself) How am I going to do this now? What was I thinking, where's the time coming from? How do I not embarrass myself in front of someone because I don't have all the answers.? And on,and on, and on!!!
I have allowed my thoughts of lack and limitation paralyze me in the past. I find meditation and prayer helps to move me through today and I still have the fear that my voice will shake and I won't look credible . Power On . K

What I want to change about myself, wow, there's quite a few. I want to lose my fear of failure, that's something most of us can relate to. I want to stop being lazy. Don't get me wrong I work but I could be so much better if I worked harder and smarter. I want to become more educated. I'm no fool but I know there's more room on my hard drive. Luckily I have been looking into college and other educational venues so I think I'm on the right path there. I want to stop thinking about being liked or concerned about what people think of me. That's just the tip of the spear because I won't be perfect even after improving on those things I mentioned today so it will be a never ending journey.

Aloha Dean. Your message about "attaching more pain to inaction" as your latest help in getting you to work on the confrontation instead of running from it was powerful for me, but in a different way.

You posted this video several days ago & having just returned from the Buying Summit, I wanted to keep up the momentum of "good information" coming to my eyes & ears. So I re-played this video at least 4 times this past week and was not sure why I had to but something about the message was not clicking with me.

Then the one sentence above suddenly hit a nerve early this morning...

I realized that I have always been attaching "exacting" pain to the tasks I needed to complete & have been doing so since childhood. As I grew into a teenager, it was only exhausted with adding impossible deadlines, & ones that created physical pain & knots in my stomach. To make matters worse, I added guilt of what would happen to others that were affected by my inability to complete tasks by a certain deadline. The running list of pain inflicted on me, to me, by me was only made more effective by the shame put on me by others & not living up to their idea of my potential.

Sad to say, the root of this behavior was from wanting to please father, grandmother, teachers, etc. These were persons who had "power or control" over my life as a child or teen. I hung on their words of praise. But when I fell short of the goal or high expectation, I was verbally (sometimes physically) made to feel this.

Eventually I just bypassed the whole process and went straight to procrastination. The word fear was replaced by failure & so I gave up on giving myself a chance to succeed.

I didn't need more pain. I just needed to take the pain away. I have kicked myself good & hard so well & for so long already.... YIKES!

I just never saw this so clearly until I turned your thought around to make sense to me. In writing this response, it forced me to admit this in black & white but it has been therapeutic.

I can finally move forward!

So thank you again for your video. I made me think to create my own mental video with a new caring self-thought (to replace the old one). Here it is:

"Change the pain message my dear. It doesn't work for you. Focus on the pleasurable outcomes that can, do and will come to you and those affected by your actions.

To do this, BE.

Yes, BE present, BE joy filled. BE your true self.

Create and rename your tasks with time-frames.

(Cease calling them "deadlines" or you will continue to feel exhausted and without life as you do the work. What you really want is to live and live fully, and not die when you complete the task, correct? So choose your words wisely my dear. Your new mantra should say: 'Be good to your mind getting to the task-line').

Slow and steady has, does & can win races.

And ignore those negative voices. They're just voices from the past & the past is done & cannot haunt you, unless of course YOU choose to let it. Don't let it, okay?

Focus on BE ing in the here & NOW proceed to your closest mirror and say out loud for your inner self to hear the following words 'I love you'."

Dean, thank you for your video. I literally cried this morning when your words finally made sense for me.

Hello Dean,
Thank you for the information on pleasure in taking action vs inaction linked with pain. I had it backward. And, didn't really realize how it seemed to block me. I will try what you explained in the video. It's going to be a lot of re-training my mind.
Vangi

Pick me, pick me, pick me! I would love to have your old laptop. I would cherish it forever. Yes, yes, yes. I'm sure it would help me to get my first deal!

My biggest challenge has been to get my marketing machine going and to be consistent with it. Probably because I have not nailed down which strategy to use to get leads. I think perhaps going after sellers and doing a wholesale deal would be the easiest for me right now.

I'm going to press pass all of my fears. I'm going to do my first deal by the end of this year. I'm making a commitment to be more consistent and more persistent!

Thank you Dean for all of your encouragement, for providing us with so much information and for being a person of integrity.

God bless you,
Debra Parker

The first weekend after BOG training I went and bought all the bandit signs HD had...I filled out everyone! When I went out put them out...I felt like I was stealing something! But I got one up! then I ran to my car...That one sign got 3 calls! and I haven't called them back yet. What do I say? what if they ask me something I don't know? its all a load of crap!
But I am doing better. Went to an Auction this week. Looked at a few houses analyzed them. we are making our first 3 offers on Monday! I don't know what I am afraid of
Thanks Dean!

dean i don't like confrontation either so i try to not associate with confrontational people much like you. but dean my issue has been finding the thing that makes me great the thing that i do best? i have been a go getter forever, i was business mgr of my yearbook, opened a corned beef deli and bakery freshmen year of college, managed several different types of businesses in variety of industries through my 4 yrs of college. a working and going to school is not an easy task.after college i was a loan officer during the the glory years, mlm any and everything i could find that made sense i tried. i could and never think i was lazy and i have not been as successful as i should be. as i think i should be. always working on several projects at one time and not finding the vision to remain focused on one thing, then i wonder should i really focus on one thing do i need 4 or 5 different things to find success. afraid to be a guy thriving for success and never achieve it. still trying to find the thing or things i am best at.

Hi Dean, I've being always afraid of failing and not being able to succeed in this new whole different world, that its real state business

I have a fear of writing up a business plan and not having the resources to follow thru. Ultimately a fear of failure. I have to change my thinking to associate a greater loss with no action than the loss of putting together the plan and the effort. The changing of cognitive association is a very powerful thing, but it's not an easy thing.