Having a rough day

Tammy,
It sounds like you need to just vent about your personal life sometime we jump in our work to avoid dealing with family issues. But eventually it comes up and we have to learn to deal with what ever problem our families may have and dealing with all the various real life issues that come with it. I prefer to deal without the extra drama that families may sometime bring to the table.

Don"t give up concentrate on your work you have to learn to separate the drama from your ability to work and I hope that you can keep plugging away at the Real Estate business just like the deal you said you just did. All the best to you stay strong.

I really am. I hope when you read this on 3 14 2012 you are able to smile and have a great day. maybe you could try to find some houses to analyze to take your mind off your situation. I failed my physical in january so i now have no job.

Tammy let me ask you do you have Deans 3 books millionaire - profit right now - and your town your re profits ???

i hope you feel better soon. i will be thinking about you and i will check on you tomorrow.

sincerely,
WALT

sometimes the family we are born into is not the 'family' we end up with. Sometimes we have to create new families for ourselves. And, family are the ones who love and support us, who are there for us in good times and bad. Do the best you can for/with the family you have, but don't let them break your heart or steal your dream. Develop new relationships and widen your social circle...'cause you never know when an aquaintance will become a friend, or when a friend will become 'family.' You'll have two families - the one you were born into, and the one you choose for yourself.

Wishing you the best in life and RE Investing.

Like Sandi says, sometimes we have to make our own families. Ultimately it comes down to us as individuals to make the life we want because nobody else will do it for us.
This is what I call a Squeeze-point in life. Where it seems like everything that can go wrong does and you're basically left to fend for yourself with only a handful of people on your side, maybe even only 1 person at that.
I've been through a squeeze-point myself and don't wish it on anyone. But the saying 'what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger' couldn't be any truer.
Yes, you may have to put your RE plans on hold for a while depending on your situation as I had to. Just remember that RE will always be there when you're ready as well as all of us on dg. com rooting for you.

Take it one day at a time, one step at a time. One year from now (or maybe longer) you won't believe where you've been and where you currently are at that point in time.

Stay strong, it will work out in the end, usually way better than you expected.

Take care!

We can't choose the family we're born into. If we could, we'd all be Cleavers or Huxtables. We all have, or have been, the black sheep of the family. But we CAN choose the "family" that we actually LIKE to be around. You did just that when you chose to share your troubles with us, your family on DG. I think you made a really wise choice! We're here for you.

As the real estate professional you are well on your way to becoming, you already are getting really good at thinking outside the box. In that spirit, think of this as a wonderful opportunity! You have no family weighing you down or holding you back, and absolutely no reason to stay anchored where you are. You know that you can buy a property with no money, anywhere in this great country of ours! If you are ever going to break with your old ways, now's the time! So, if the "Tammy tour" gets underway, please feel free to visit us here in the great state of Wisconsin! If you need a break to clear your head, you have a place to stay. This offer will expire....never! Keep your chin up, it WILL get better.

Tammy, you chose to join this family too and you made a great decision to become better yourself by doing what you doing with real estate too. This is also part of your own. I am not sure why your therapist is saying what they said to you, but they are obviously wrong. I dont believe they will get the type of support you are getting right now with all the above messages. I know it's hard, but stay strong and you know you can do this and succeed in Real Estate. This is why they call us DG family.

I thank you all for your kind words, but until you have such a dysfunctional family as mine, don't doubt that some may, you just can't even know. I really don't know why I put all that out there, and it is only the tip of the ice berg. To this day my father only wants to know what's in it for him. I have not had contact with him for many many years and really don't consider him my father anyway. He should be in jail. Same goes for my mothers boyfriend who by the way finally left her for someone else ( I always hope he would leave and just when I thought he wouldn't he did) My mom always put him before us, and made us take care of the electricity, clothing for our selves and our brothers, rent while we were in high school. It is a miracle that I even graduated. My younger brothers I feel suffered more than I, yet they know nothing else and are still loyal to her. There is such a mental wall with no open minded thinking that I am unable to help them, unless it is with cash. The only time that I am contacted is if they need money or someone is sick. They don't care what's going on in my life. They can't even bother calling me on the phone. Well as you can see my mother only wants to know what's in it for her too. I just can't really deal with family like this. Feel stupid for writing all this. Feel I need to grow up and move on. I just really need to be on my own, but don't have it in me to do that. I really for all intents and purposes was abandon as a child and I obviously have issues with that. I am done with therapy for now, as I can't deal with dredging up on garbage. I better stop writing because it only makes it worse for me. I am going to go about my happy self on here and as my therapist used to tell me I really know how to shift gears. I;ve had to to survive. Midamerica I am on my way; LOL I wish! Wish I had what it took to just leave here.

Tammy, when you are ready for that vacation, just say the word. If your vehicle is out of commission, I'll come to get you! Seriously, though, everyone on this site is my chosen family, and I'm happy to help whenever and wherever I can. I volunteer for a program here called Hope House, which is for abused women and children. Abuse doesn't always have to be physical- mental and emotional abuse can, in many ways, be even worse. I hope you won't let it get so bad that you feel hopeless, as though you have no way out or no place to turn to. Remember, your DG "cousin" in Wisconsin is available for chauffeur service!

Hi Tammy Ieve been there my Dads side of the family and my two other sibblings are like that and I used tough LOVE and got away from them and boy what freedom and my life hasnt been so good and it keeps getting better every day and Ill never go back. Stay focused on what your doing and try to stay positive in all you do and try to laugh as much as you can it will really help.We feel your pain but be tougher than that pain and rise up to meet the channeledge at hand, were here for you so your not alone, wish Id had that, but cant look back must push a head, I truely hope that helps and I mean that with all my heart, JIM

Tammy, it's funny, I was having a very rough morning just a few minutes ago, dealing with my mother. Although it drove me to get in my car and just get away, I could not stop myself from saying, I will not give up on my dreams. I will not let go and give in. There is nothing wrong with venting, getting it out of your system, and you are certainly not stupid for doing so. You have to get it out, and then when you have gotten it all out, then you can change your mindset. What I do is I write (well type) out what my life looks like if I could had everything I needed. I write in detail the type of home I have, and the vehicles I have, how abundantly loved I am and how I am surrounded by nothing but positive things and positive people. I write in the present tense what my future looks like as if I am living in it right now. I see all the wonderful things I have accomplished (even though I have not done it yet).

This honestly inspires me and it helps wash away what is going on right now. I refuse to let any negativity get inside of me, and although I don't feel strong all the time, I constantly think of how wonderful my future will be. I am here to help you if you need to. Even if you just need someone to talk to. But I can guarantee you that real estate will get you where you need to go.

Thomas I bookmarked that site, and midamerica, that maybe an option I will look into if it is really possible. Essense, I hope I spelled that right, I think I need to start writing how many friends I do have, (I guess alot right now on this site, and I hear it coming from the heart too. You guys are superb!) as well as how many houses I have sold, and the paychecks that keep coming in the mail, too many that I cannot keep up with them. What a problem! wink wink! Seriously I know that you attract things by thinking them, so I know you are seriously and that the law of attraction does work!

I am sorry, I was thinking of you and some others that pm'ed me as well as all the nice people who responded when I said I know it comes from the heart. Thank you so much!

i'm sorry to hear about what is going on in your life. i don't know if you are interested or not, but i'm going through a course right now called "Love or Above" and maybe it will help you too. you should be able to find it at www dot love or above dot com. the only thing we can really do in these situations is work on ourselves and i don't believe we have to dredge up all that junk. it will all come up on its own and when it does, it just means that it wants to leave. something else i use you can find at www dot releasetechnique dot com. huge helps to me on both of those.

I see no mention in your profile or posting of any children of your own or any husband. It sounds to me like you are stuck in a rut - a deep rut when it comes to your family. I am here to tell you that you do not have to live with that any longer. You do have a choice and the world is full of good people that will not treat you badly. Many are right here on this site. If you are paying your own way and family seeks you out only when they need money, well it sounds like it is time for tough love and let them make their own way. We all get to choose how we will live our own lives. So its time for you to sit down with a lined 5 x 7 spiral notebook and start listing on page one how you would like to live your life. Where would you like to live if you could live anywhere at all? What would you like to have in your life? With an open mind consider all and write it down whenever something comes to mind. If you are supporting yourself in Ar then you can support yourself elsewhere. Don't listen to the naysayers or anyone else that says anything negative. With your skills there are many things you can do to survive. You can take any job and rent a room if you have to. If you have a lot of stuff you can pack and store it. People walk away from houses everyday and start anew. You can walk away from anyone and everyone who brings you down. Don't let anyone do that to you. Its one thing to have and argument, disagreement or a heated discussion followed by apologies and forgiveness, but if it is more than that it is not right and God did not intend for you to live that way. Look at Matt Larson - even he has removed himself from friends and family to take time for himself and he posted that they do not understand this. That is OK. They can take care of themselves and things will play out in time. You deserve to be happy and remove the stress from your life. There is good stress and bad stress and we need balance. I had a couple of times in my life when I had to pack what I needed in my car and leave to start new. Go to joelosteen.com and click on broadcast. I like Joels messages. Read Deans book Totally Fulfilled and the Holy Bible. That will keep you grounded and help you to strengthen your own character. You need to remove yourself from a bad environment and allow yourself time to heal. Its time for you to begin a new journey and way of life. You can chart your own course and have anything you want. So sit down and make that plan in that spiral notebook and then check things off as you go and add as you like. Don't worry or concern yourself with what those so-called members of your family think or have to say. What they think is none of your business anyway and someday sooner rather than later when you are a wealthy and healthy young woman those people won't fit in anyway. Plus you don't want them to be freeloading off of you and believe me when I say they will come running when they think you have money. Actualy, they don't ever need to know. I don't like to see anyone hurting and I hope what I have had to say will help you. Pursue your interests and strive to enjoy life. Orem, Utah or Denver, Colo are good places to go. The west coast has milder climates and there are opportunities no matter what the masses might say. Dean says go on a news diet. I say go on the internet and do your research on places that interest you. Just be bold and start fresh.

Tammy,
I am so happy that you have a smile on your face. Anything I can do to help you, just let me know. I am glad you know about the laws of attraction and honestly I thought you already had all those checks coming in already when you just typed that. LOL!! But keep up the outstanding work and stay focused on all the wonderful things that are to come!!!

I wish you many abundant blessings in your life!

Essence

Linda for the two websites; someone else shared the releasetechnique today, I had never heard of either one, so thanks. Esteeanna, I think I need to bid on the city of one in buford that I posted earlier. Lol Essence, Yes, you read that right, well in the future. Now just got to make myself believe it! Thank you!

You really hide your feelings well.. at least in all your previous posts. I would have never known that you had those problems. I can empathize with you, but it was a different situation for me and still is. My ex husband, after we divorced, did not divorce my family. But it was not love that kept him around.
After my mom died (she knew he was a crook), he took advantage of my dad while he was in the nursing home and tried to drive a wedge between me and my sister to gain my dad's worldly goods..what little he had. He influenced my dad to change his will and leave everything to him by telling him that me and my sister would only fight over it. He also talked him into give him power of attorney including healthcare power of attorney and the nursing home wouldn't even call us when he went to the hospital of any other situation that we should have known about. Yes, it happened! And my dad would have never, ever done that to us under normal circumstances. That was a bitter and hard pill to swallow. He is just that greedy. And not only that but my ex and his second wife adopted two of my grandchildren, a boy and a girl, when they were toddlers and both of them physically and emotionally abused my grandson. She died 7 years ago and I was not financially able to get an attorney to adopt them and I knew I would be fought tooth and nail because he could afford the best attorney... He has abused my grandson ever since. Tyler is now 18 and has been brainwashed, if you will, to believe that no one else wants him and could even take care of him. He is an adult now and I cannot convince him that he doesn't have to live in that situation. He has not been allowed to get his drivers license yet, because if he does, he will get a job and my ex knows that if he gets a job, his ss check will decrease! He's extremely smart and didn't have to complete the 12th grade at all, but my ex made him stay in school an extra year (this year) so that his ss check that he gets for him would not be cut off! I have begged my grandson to come and live with me. I told him if I had food, he would have food and if I had a roof over my head, he would too. I have cried and prayed about it constantly, but my grandson's thinking is still that he would be a burden on anyone else. That's just a drop in the bucket of his emotional abuse.

Tammy, I said all that to say this... People will use you and abuse you and play mind games with you to get what they want. You are a lot stronger than you think. Break away from what is causing you pain and sorrow if you can and don't look back. You sound a lot like my grandson. You CAN make it on your own and you have to know that. Don't let them talk you into doing what you don't want to do just to make them happy. You have to make YOU happy.

Remember, wounds heal over time. Scars are left as a reminder of our past, but they stay there as a reason for a better future. It only makes you stronger. Out of despair, disappointment and pain comes determination, strength, focus, self love, and drive. You have all those Tammy. I know from reading your posts. Keep your chin up and keep moving forward. You can do it!!!

Shirley

Dearest Tammy,

With this note, I am sending a sisterly-hug out to you!

Tomorrow will be a better day! I think that, most of us carry some type of hurt, or disappointments from our past from people who are dearest to us, sometimes even from family members. It's a sad situation to be in. Is it a problem? Well, problems have solutions. If we can't find solutions to this family issue right now, maybe it's just a situation we have to just plain accept "as is" - sometimes nobody can really do anything about it. With some people who can't accept their mistakes, well, if they can't accept it, how can they correct it? Some things are just best realized than told. Let them realize their own mistakes. Focus on what you want to accomplish in your life between now, and going forward into your future. I hope you don't continue to feel bad. YOU will always have the power of “choice”.

With personality dynamics or clashes, or blame-game scenarios, nobody wins. Sometimes, there seems to be no clear solution in the horizon. So maybe the family situation is something that you might have to set aside and avoid for a while. If it causes you "distraction" in fulfilling your REI goals, then maybe avoiding them for now would be the better route if they just bring negativity into your life. I remember, Dean mentioned this in several Video blogs, even in an airplane that is about to crash, a parent needs to put his/her oxygen mask FIRST, and then put the oxygen mask on his/her child SECOND. You need to think of YOU first. Then you would be better able to reach out to them a bit later in the future when they are "ready for reconciliation". BUT for now, It's TAMMY FIRST!

You (I would assume) have done your 7 levels deep exercise... well, today might be a good time to pull out and re-read that sheet of paper to also inspire yourself again and help you stay on track!

You cannot change your family, but you can ALWAYS change your reaction to them.

Don't let past hurts be part of your present, it is done, finished, history. Nobody can change the past - look at today, and look at the efforts you have done so far that is bringing you nearer and closer to fulfilling your REI goals. The "blues" is just a temporary setback, it's okay to have "blasts from the past" if remembering them brings you positive memories, BUT, if it just brings you pain, then CHOOSE TO blast those type of negative memories right back there in the past where they belong! Don't talk about something that you yourself want to forget about. Because if you talk about it, the more and the longer it stays in your memory, in I.T. we have a term for that GIGO (Garbage In, Garbage Out)! In life, we also have a "delete" button - if it's negative, delete it!

So now, the point I will make is, once you have realized and accepted (because acceptance is half the battle with people who have done you wrong, big or small offense, doesn’t matter) that a person has some character defects that is negatively affecting you, the next question will be - what are you going to do about it? Access is a privilege, not a right. I can never stress this enough: Choose who has access to you. Those who do not add to your life will eventually subtract from it. I learned that from one of my spiritual mentors. IT IS TRUE. Wisdom nugget worth sharing!

For now, you have these DG Family members who look out for, care and help each other! My best friend (we've been best friends since we were 8 years old!) said sometimes "friends are God's apology for family!" (Well, for dysfunctional ones at least, and it is so true! LOL!)

Ever heard of the bible story about (gosh I forgot his name~ THIS is old age! LOL!), well about this man Joseph the dreamer (I think) who was thrown into a pit by his jealous siblings/brothers because the Dude was the Dad's favorite and then left by his brothers for dead? Well, let's talk about dysfunctional! After this Dreamer guy survived this and went through all sorts of hurdles, and succeeded, later on became a very powerful man, and after years of being away from his real blood-family, his brothers, who didn't even recognize him years later, asked for his help. The Dreamer forgave his brothers and helped them and they all reconciled in God's own time.

SO, lift this one "long time family issue" UP totally in prayer, LET GO AND LET GOD - only God can change people, and soften people's hardened hearts! But YOU have the power to change your "self", your schedule, and who will have access to you. You have gone this far in REI Tammy... this is just a hiccup, just stay away from people who bring you negativities for a while if it causes you to "stumble". Only you have the power to STOP the cycle of abuse. How? Don't participate in it. Do not touch it with a 10-foot pole. Vehemently REFUSE to be a victim! Do what you can and do whatever it takes to protect your number one best investment: your number 1 investment is YOU!

Take care Tammy, and prayers are in the air for you for emotional healing! Stay strong! Stay positive! You will feel better soon! Choose to be happy; don't let anybody steal your joy!

Cris

P.S. Just so you know, I had a bad day myself, ("I.T. work-stress related", PLUS a buyer-partner backed out of a property I wanted to buy-flip and hold) So I pulled my 7 levels deep sheet ... we will succeed at this if we just all keep focused on the target goal! Just a hiccup! Just a hiccup!

Okay I am moving on. I am feeling a bit better, just hoping tomorrow is a much better day. It was just a hiccup and right garbage in garbage out have heard that before. Thanks!

Hang in there....Keep moving forward!