Weekly Wisdom #254 - Leopards Changing Spots

I have been dealing with this fear for some time now. I gain some strength and then life happens and I fall back into the same pattern of fear. My biggest fear is that I will fail at real estate and I don't commit 100%. I feel like, I need to work to take care of bills and when I get caught up, then I can focus. The irony is, I am failing because I am scared to fail. I need to take action and commit 100% because there will never be a perfect time to commit 100%. Thanks for all of the insight and support for getting out of my own way.

Hello Dean,

I think you absolutely right about us as humans being able to change whenever we want.
It is all about your mind set and how motivated you are to do so.

I am changing my life dramatically in several different ways.
-I just got married
-Starting this new business
-most importantly getting INLINE WITH GOD.

Thanks Dean for all you do!

Hello Dean! I want to thank you for your weekly wisdoms. My Dad,Mom and Sister all died from cancer. I truely need the motivation. I find there are good and bad days. I understand hard work pays off so on those mornings when I don't want to get out of bed because I know my family will not be there I strive through and push forward anyway. I am 41yrs old and one day pray to have a husband and children if the Lord grants it. I always was inspired by real estate
that is why I was truely blessed when the Lord lead me to order your books and gave me strength to pick them up and read. I am a patient person and strongly believe one day that first deal will happen.

Dean,

What is confrontation. To confront someone who has wronged you in someway. When I moved into the home that I am living in now, I thought that it was a lease option, not an "As Is" purchase. In march when some of the snow started melting off my roof, I noticed that there was water coming into my laundry room via the roof. I immediately went to the managers office alert them of the problem, an they said, "I'm sorry, it's your problem now, it has nothing to do with us. Yes I got angry. I moved in hear in the middle of winter, there was no way of knowing that the roof was defective. This month I found out that there has never been a lease option in place, that it has been a rental from the start. I will have to move out at the end of the year, because I have tried to stand up for my rights as a consumer and not let the maroon who is the property manager of this place take advantage of me. I could write to the company in Chicago, who owns this park, to let them know what is going on. I could go to a lawyer to see if I have any legs to stand on, or I could pack up and slink out of here with my tail between my legs. What would you do? I have been moving every year for the past three years, the thought of moving again is more than I can deal with, but I will do what I have to do. What upsets me the most, is that I have just started to get involved with this area. I just started to do some volunteer work at a local business, because for the first time since I had my back injured in April, I felt well enough to get involved with something I feel strongly about. But now I am packing again. I could get a lawyer to go after the acupuncture office that nearly broke my back, but I too don't like confrontation, even though I have spent hundreds of my own money to get my back to where I almost feel normal again. What would you do if someone hurt your wife's back. Would you confront the person are persons who did it?

I don't know where my real estate career is going to lead me. The moment I think that things are getting off the ground, the ground comes up and knocks me off my feet.

You might think this is a defeatist attitude, but it isn't. I know it works and that I am smart. I know without a shadow of a doubt that I can make it work for myself. You are saying, then why don't you?

It's not from the demons I have within, it is the demons that I have around me, my family, who seem to have the ability to sabotage everything that I do.

I hope that you have a wonderful week,

Mimi

we do better," as Oprah always says.

Thanks for reminding us that it takes a determination to do better, too.

Dana Leigh

Yes I hate confrontation as well, but I am speaking up now, more and more. I continue to speak to realtors, need to find a place to put my bandits signs in my area, off a week from work and will do what I can to make my goal.Going back to the REI club I found in my area. Need to make a change right now.

I am a Real estate investor. Still driving a over the road tractor trailer. My wife Janice and I are working hard at Real estate investing and know we are getting close to our 1st deal. It would be helpful if you could detail some complete deals. 1 at a time?
How you got the lead. Ie. 25-1, bandit signs, flyers, bird dogs, etc. Initial contact twith seller, how you determined your initial offer, how you built repore with seller, how you negotiated to the accepted agreement. How you finalized the deal. We live in fl. and feel this real estate market is 1/4 to 1/2 back upto the top.
Properties are selling for more than is being asked for them. We are working our advantage to make deals. Being taught ny you, we are networking and starting to reach out to other markets in the US. 25-1 does not seem to work here. Should it work in any market?
Thank you for all you do and all your trying to teach us. Sometimes we feel like we must be doing things wrong when your doing 30 to 50 deals a month and we can not get one put together?

Dean, it's really kind of freaky. I have been using this myself for a while now to spur myself to changing things about my business and my life and a technique I've been suggesting people I am working with to increase their abiility to take control of their own lives.

It's a win-win for them and me, since most of these folks are people I have working on various parts of my business as well.

Great input and I'm really happy to see that it's making a difference for you!

Would love to win my first laptop computer at 55 yrs of age.

Thank you for your constant devotion to others success. God Bless you and your efforts.

Dean that was me I grew up in a family that had no problems with confrontation or saying what they wanted to say! However it almost always led to trouble and to say the least physical action.
Since then I grew up with the fear of saying the wrong thing, always agreeing with the other person just to avoid being on the wrong side and confrontation. I still fight with that feeling but today I am wiser and aware of how to say and do what I feel in a non confrontational way. I work on surrounding myself with positive people open minded, people who think before they address an issue. We are all made in our own unique way and we each have our own talent we just have to figuere out what that is!

Thanks
Dean

Here I thought I was the only one who felt uncomfortable when presented with confrontation. That emotion inside your gut that says, just back away and it will go away. When I decided to follow Dean and learn to become a real estate investor,it seemed simple.Yeah, simple until you have to start calling people, and approach people at REI clubs and start a conversation. Whew! that's a lot to ask. Well, listening to Dean talk about beating the demon within, cast away fear to conquer the goals we set. But, most important for me is the WHY. Its the WHY that pushes me. It's the WHY that reminds me that I don't want my wife working anymore, and provide a better life for my kids. I worked hard at changing my mind set. As Dean says all of the time, Know your WHY. I found that it's what gets me over the hump when I feel uncomfortable in uncertain situations. I'm now talking with realtors, cash buyers, and rehabers with confidence, and not being afraid to ask questions. If anyone of my fellow investors are reading this, Please...Please exercise your WHY. Know it, feel it, bring it with everywhere because it will give you the strength, and confidence to get past uncomfortable feelings, and embolden you to get through situations that may seem difficult. Cheers!

THANK YOU DEAN,
It seems as if you were just talking to me. I would try to take action and talk to a Realtor this week it has been 4 years and everyday I want to do it and then something gets on my way, (my excuses to not doing it)
Thanks, again y God Bless you.

Reyna-Yuma, AZ

Today I am going to change my Thoughts... Maybe it's fear of the unknown that makes me fight the system... and by the System I mean the one put forth here on how to get moving forward.
I will actually start to set goals.. write them down. short mid long term goals.
Not writing goals down makes it easy when you don't achieve them. There wasn't a clear goal so how could you achieve it.

I will listen to those that have been there and done that lol

Fear will never do you any good,never.Always hit fear head on,but with caution and with your eyes wide open. Ok Dean now send me your laptop and put the new edge event on it please. Richard in Virginia

There's this little voice, and as a joke. I am going to call him (Dean).
What" are you in my head", how do you know how I fill,or what I am thinking. I trully do have fear of calling agents, when I read what Matt wrote in thirty day book,that fills like something you would send to a agent when the market was down, now that the market is going up, and there isn't as many homes. There I go making excuse's, so that I don't have to follow up.The crazy thing is that, i have put together a contract and presented to a seller,and put in a bid and had no problem with that transaction, and loved it.Yes, i was very scared, but when i faced the fear it was amazing how i felt, to know that i could do this.But what I don't understand is why i can't move forward with a Agent, so that i could keep filling like this and make some real Money in Real Estate.This week I have a IE.coaching appointment, so i hope she could help me move forward.
Thank you Dean a Million times,

Richard

Great message dean there really is nothing wrong with avoiding a confrontation sometimes its best to agree to disagree dean.A word from a wise one said there is a time and place for everything theres a time to fight and theres a time to run.Many times there aren't things worth squabbling about so sometimes its best to walk away.I really don't fear anything in life we have nothing to fear but fear itself.FDR.But I do have some concerns.Some thing I am going to change is being a more disciplined and stronger business man sometimes when I do business with my relatives they always ask for discounts because we're related and I always tend to give in that has to stop or else I will never be successful and end up broke so I am going to become a more stronger business man and become more disciplined with myself and tell my relatives business is business you either like it or lump it.

Perhaps an odd one but I have a fear of success... I have subconsciously sabotaged myself for a while because of it. I am in the middle reading the book think and grow rich by napoleon hill and was enjoying it a couple nights ago when I realized it.
I just started and commit to working through this and giving it everything I have so that on a very deep level I realize that I deserve happiness in living a successful life so that I make bigger impact and difference in the world.

I used to be somewhat afraid to talk but I have brought myself out of that shell and started educating myself on the various topics that i hear people talking about and it makes me feel as if what i am saying is as important as what they are talking about and that brings my comfort level down to normal and it seems to be working, but I still shy away from some conversations but only to not engage in a meaningless conversation where i can see that the topic is going nowhere. I see that I am not the only one who has ever felt this way and that is a good thing. When you can acknowledge that something is not right or where it should be then you should try to make it better. Thanks for the advice.

I used to be somewhat afraid to talk but I have brought myself out of that shell and started educating myself on the various topics that i hear people talking about and it makes me feel as if what i am saying is as important as what they are talking about and that brings my comfort level down to normal and it seems to be working, but I still shy away from some conversations but only to not engage in a meaningless conversation where i can see that the topic is going nowhere. I see that I am not the only one who has ever felt this way and that is a good thing. When you can acknowledge that something is not right or where it should be then you should try to make it better. Thanks for the advice.

Dean I've been listening to you for over a year. I haven't put you words of wisdom to real estate but life itself. So thanks very much. I'm an Army Reserve Career Counselor. I'm glad you have revealed your fear of confrontation. That is mine! I hate cold calls to Soldiers to convince them to finish their time in the Ready Reserves. Several times I've heard your stay away from Negative people. That was hard to do when that person was my wife.
We purchase a HUD home (2 bed 1 bath with attached garage) for my stepson, Jacob, to live while he was going to UMKC. I figured he could pay us rent instead of the campus for a third less and a lot less privacy and room. After a while my wife was getting so negative I could not take it and the travel time to work was 45 minutes (on a good day) and costing over $10 dollars a day in gas. I decided to purchase another HUD home walking distance to work. I pulled cash from my retirement account a bought another place. I would live there during the week while fixing it up and go home on weekends I didn't have to work (1-2 times a month).
This year Jacob has graduated and has moved to Colorado Spring CO with his girlfriend who is getting her master’s degree from Colorado Springs University. Instead of my wife, Becky, cosigning a 15 month lease for a 500 sq ft apartment, I suggested she look for another property like we did in Kansas City. We found a couple to look at and she and Jacob went to Colorado to look at each one we had found. She didn't get the first choice but found a townhouse (850 sq ft.) It ended up being anther HUD home. Becky did all the jumping through hoops HUD requires. I big help was her parents had extra $ from a house they just sold and needed to reinvest. So it was a cash deal giving us enough time to get the kids moved in just in time for school. Now Becky has a different look on things. It was their parents and their grandchild they were helping and the numbers looked good enough.
Hopefully this will be enough to bring her on board and start with me. I will be able to put ALL of your training to work as soon as I retire from the Army in 257 days. We have 3 homes now and going to start renting then to someone outside of the family.
My biggest fear is doing a deal without my own money. How in the world can I get over that one? It's the fear of losing someone else’s cash. I've watch the shows where they buy a rehab house and it seem they are over budget. I will be able to put ALL of your training to work as soon as I retire from the Army in 257 days.
Again, thank you for your weekly wisdoms that help in life, not just real-estate. God bless you!

Hey Dean,
Thanks for the wisdom. Fear can stop a train in it's tracks.
I have a fear of walking up or talking on the phone to a COMPLETE stranger. If we are at a meeting or or a gathering and we are there for the same thing it is easier, but still difficult. I have, however learned that not picking up the phone, either to call someone or answer a call before it goes to voice mail, gets you nowhere. My bigger fear is losing the deal because I didn't pick or answer the phone or walk up to the complete stranger to ask to buy their house or if I could get the contact information to add to our network.
Thanks fore helping us get over our fears and for being so wise.
Forever Grateful
Stu

Dean, you are so right. I have been letting my fears of talking to RE agents and making offers on houses hold us back. I will confront my fears and just do it. I really like the post above about moving forward even if we stumble.
Every week it seems like you know what us newbies are going through.
You are such a great inspiration.
Thank you so much

Dean, you called me out! I believe the only thing holding me back is that I'm afraid to talk to people about their property. I'm afraid I won't know what to say, or how U will be able to help them resolve their problems. I don't want to look like I don't know what I'm doing and thereby lose their confidence before the del ever gets going. I am a person who doesn't mind speaking to strangers normally, but when it comes to selling myself, totally different story. I have decided that I am going to get past this because the alternative is so painful, and like you, I want to leave properties to my kids to secure their future. I have a specific 11 year goal and if I'm going to achieve it, I have to overcome this obstacle.

Thanks Dean!

It's so much easier to lapse into inaction rather than put your butt on the line and risk rejection, failure, and ridicule.

But inaction leaves you in the exact same place you are today.

Learning to fail my way to success.

Thank you, Dean, for another great video!

I just love this for this week because THIS IS SOMETHING I HAD FOR A GOAL THIS WEEK!!! To do more things that I have stuggled and didnt like before. I joined this family a little bit ago, and i'm finding myself grow into this amazing confident person over the phone as well as in real estate knowledge. My goal this week was to "ANSWER ALL MY PHONE CALLS THAT I GOT" no matter who it was! I thought to myself a lot before, ill let voicemail get to it and then ill call them back when i hear what they are calling about. Now as of today being 2:40pm I AM DOING IT AND HAVE ANSWERED ALL MY CALLS WITHOUT HESITATION. I am facing my fears and and my dislikes with an "fear cant get the best of me today" mentality. I know that facing your fears will make you overcome a lot more obstacles in your way and that is my ultimate goal in my life.....to keep climbing and not sliding. What a great way of putting that! As of now i have accomplished many of my fears in this real estate business and i look back and think "everyone told me it will get easier the more you do it" and it makes me laugh because now, talking to a Realtor or cash buyers is like skating on the ice for me.....piiiiieeeccee of cake with a cherry on top!

I absolutely agree with you, you can always get better at ANYTHING if you practice it and take the time to do it. So therefore with another week in the biz...... let the confidence grow and the climbing begin so i can stand on top of my huge mountain when I'm old and look at all that i have accomplished in my life!

What a great message for all of us! THANKS DEAN AND FAMILY!!!!

I hate confrontations, yet my tong can be a very sharp tool. I lose opportunities, as well as I cause myself heartache by not knowing when to shut up and saying more than I should. I really do hate confrontation and it usually doesn't escalate, as I realize my error and apologize to relatives and strangers.

Thanks

Francisco

Todays weekly wisdom#254 is the best to date. It hit me exactly where I need it. Afraid to go up to others to find the properties has been my biggest hurdle. Still somewhat shy I guess. Got to change this. You are right.
Keep up the weekly wisdom!

My biggest fear is that I'll tell my partner how much I really really want to get into REI and that she'll shut me down completely.

I've got the books. I've got the realtor to call. I've got a preliminary plan and know enough to get myself into trouble.

I'm just too scared to tell my other half. Time to get over it! The toughest confrontation on deck for me is the one in my own house.

It really is incredible how much you are willing to give to the people on this site. it's almost like you are a mind reader. I have been involved with you in more ways than one since 2009. I got inspired by your infomercial and bought your book, then joined the Success Academy then I joined the Insider Elite and was always very excited. The products work, the information works, the video lessons are thorough but what is the reason I haven't done a deal yet? I've been sitting on the sidelines >afraid<. Just like you said, afraid to call up agents, afraid to talk to buyers, to hang bandit signs, afraid to actually do all these things and like you and Matt were saying in a video, thinking, "what if the offer gets accepted". That one made me laugh when I saw it because that was exactly what I was thinking. I watch almost all the WW and I try to post as much as I can. Sometimes I get depressed because I want to do all the things you say to do and then I get afraid and mad at myself. I did put in an offer on a property but my offer was too high and it got accepted before I did the 25/1 so none of my buyers wanted it. The profit was too low (it was my 7th offer). so, slowly but surely I'm getting in the offer business and I am aware I need to get more buyers and work on my offer formula for my area.
This is to let you know how much I appreciate you coming online every week and doing what no one else is doing and that's giving me and thousands more, hope. I appreciate and am thankful to you. My family who knows I watch you on my laptop daily, also appreciates you.
God keep you and your family safe and always blessed.
Thank you,
-Angel.

Hi Dean,
I am working on fear of calling real estate agents-not sure of how to answer their line of questions calling buyers-scared of what they might ask me an not sure how to answer back. But I remember why I am doing this(for my family) so I feel the fear and do it anyway.

Brenda