Weekly Wisdom #254 - Leopards Changing Spots

That was a really good daily wisdom! I do avoid confrontation, ie in my personal life, because I don't want to deal with it. With business, there are some things I don't care for and thus procrastinate in doing- I will definitely change my mindset and do what you suggest to move onward. I appreciate your insight, energy, and extremely good advice!
Thanks again, Linda

This is my very first time posting on one of these videos on this site, but because of the topic you chose to speak on I simply can't help myself. After being a student for a year now, and an IE member since March, this principle has been my missing puzzle piece. Being in Canada and overcoming obstacles to learn from ground zero what a Real Estate Investor was and then learn how to do this in the US really forced me to embrace the "Why" challenge. For a long time I just went along with the idea of what my Why was and knew it was a powerful why which motivated me. However, despite my "Why(s)" I still found myself stressed out and feeling very overwhelmed with doing the action steps, which I did faithfully, and nothing ever seemed to come together or work out despite all my effort. I struggled with many emotions because I knew I had the best education, a great Why, was taught by Dean's Cousin for my Boots on the Ground Training even, went to an Edge Event last November, had a coach, and so on and did all that I could possible do to get my first deal done. Yet, I was not getting the results I was expecting, which were very realistic. Even though I felt discouraged I kept pressing forward and going through the motions. Then I became an IE member in March and started having a Life Coach and watching and reading more material and connecting with others more. Finally, about a month ago this very message that I read about from Dean's book, Totally Fulfilled, all sunk in and made perfect sense. I never allowed my Why to be about having my mind and heart passionate and united in that passion. My Why's did stir emotion, or I thought they did, but for some reason I just didn't know how to combine my heart and mind together. I still have not gotten my first deal done yet, but EVERYTHING that really matters has changed for me by simply taking all my Why's for the various areas of my life and giving myself the "BIG WHY." Meaning the one thing that puts everything into perspective and meaning for me. Which when I look back at all that I have watched Dean talk about is what he has been saying all along. I have learned, because of Dean who I sincerely thank from the bottom of my heart and soul, that the "Big WHY" needs to be what makes us passionate about our self and who we are determined to become. When I had this grand "awakening" I realized that everything else that I am doing for myself, with Real Estate Investing being a top priority, is finally enjoyable and I see it as this wonderful opportunity for me to learn and grow. I will get my first deal done one of these days because I am determined more then ever, but in the mean time I have given myself the gift to enjoy every aspect of this journey. I am not the same person I was a year ago, and am doing things that I never even allowed myself to consider doing like learning to run 5K (3.11 miles), or finding ways to be creative in Real Estate, or getting so much out of my day because I plan them out and always have a great sense of accomplishment when I go to sleep. Life has become so much more enjoyable and ideas and thoughts come to me that I know have come because I haven't gotten in the way of myself and my progression. Believing in yourself and trusting that you are capable of a far greater capacity, and feeling that and knowing it in your heart and in your mind, has been a principle of life that's value far exceeds all the amount of debt I have gone into to pursue the various educational programs I have taken from Dean to learn to be a Real Estate Investor. I believe in a lot of things, but never have really believed and been passionate about me before, but now that I am life has become a miracle and I see miracles in my life daily now. I don't want to just be a Real Estate Investor anymore, I want to be a Real Estate Investor who simply uses Real Estate as a tool to better myself and the world around me. With all the sincerity that I have, Dean THANK YOU for helping me unlock myself because now I have everything I need to become who I am intended to become!!!

I had the same problem, if I saw that it was going to turn into an argument I would just leave it alone. But then I was ****ed that I kept my mouth shut. So being I mean no harm I will still speak my mind in a respectful way. Makes me feel better!

Thanks Dean for the great post. A great reminder that change is in our control. We realize you can't steer a parked car...we are ready to turn on the ignition and MOVE. We have been feeling like life is passing us by in analysis paralysis since 2008 when we had catastrophic medical issues and of course Too Big To Fail and we lost most of our real estate fortune - causing us to file for bankruptcy!!! My wife and I are excited to do your 3 day next month...we were feeling such great fear before we met your team...our daughter is in college and will come out with student loans now because we lost so much...our son is floundering financially and we want to be able to show him that we can rise like the phoenix and re-create wealth and help others along the way. The tools you offer (after reading your books and studying your discs) have been what we have been searching for these last 5 years. We look forward to your mentorship.

Dean Good talk,
As with most people confrontation is unpleasant. I have learned that it is necessary at times and that there is no need for it to become ugly. Always be calm and not allow the other to push your buttons. Actively listen and repeat what the other person is saying and don't interrupt or allow yourself to be interrupted when speaking. This will give you time to think and respond positively. The one thing that I continue to struggle with is face to face meetings. I can talk on the phone and email all day but the face to face is very difficult for me. So what I have done is schedule myself for networking seminars/meeting/groups where I'm forced to meet new people. It is getting better but still uncomfortable.

I, too, tend to run away from confrontations. Your solution is right on the money! I remember Anthony Robbins said that in one of his seminars. Thanks for reminding me that if I don't confront people with an issue that's causing me to stew, it will fester into something much worse. And, of course, there is a right way and wrong way to present it without sounding like a monster. I love your site! The people, the information, solutions and especially
your weekly wisdom. Always seems to reach out to me when I need it most.
Keep Rocking it, Dean!
Thank you for being there!
Mary Minotti
PS My husband & I are on the verge of making our 1st deal happen! Wish us luck

Hi Dean,
Thank you for another wonderful and humble weekly wisdom! Always so genuine with a motive for helping us out.

I had written up a really good post, but it got drupled away. LOL

Right now, I'd say the area I am not making strides in is my family. I know so well that the choices I make will affect my kids, and I'm terrified of making the wrong choices. When you have kids as you know, you have to take them into account first and sacrifice for their sake. It keeps me in a bad situation that I'm in, but I must always think of the long term consequences for my children first. Despite all the efforts I've put forth to make the best of the situation I seem to be treading water in the same spot I have been. I take it to God daily and pray the correct answer is revealed.

Also, as I deliberately plan for out of state investing, I have some things that are holding me back; prior experiences with people I trusted, states running so differently that I lost my EMD, and people I relied on falling through. I've got some trust issues because of it and going remote requires a lot of trust of people I don't really know too well. Especially when I'm going to be using someone elses money, I don't want to EVER jeapordize other people's money unnecessarily. I would be devastated if I lost any partner's or investor's money. Some people have lost my money and not cared one ioda about it; justifying it being ok; but that's not me. Other people's money is the lifeline of my business. I've had one partner I let down that I made everything right with; but I don't ever like to inconvenience the people that make my investing possible because I couldn't do it without them, and I take every precaution to assure I have plans to get their money back. Its not an option for me to lose OPM.

Now, I need to turn it around and make the pain factor of inaction more than taking action. It is going on my yellow pad and then into my iPhone reminders (its what works for me ). I am still going to take a few more weeks to continue deciding which direction I want to head from this new plateau I've reached. I think I need another mastermind to fuel my ambitions into overdrive again.

Thank you for another awesome weekly wisdom and for keeping us accountable to ourselves.
~Tammy

Thanks Dean, for this great weekly wisdom. This is how I feel, always avoiding any confrontation. I also realize this is a way to nowhere. In a long run is causing more pain in every area of my life. I am learning how to be more open and communicate clearly my point without offending anyone, keep moving forward, and face whatever is in the future for me.

It is one of the biggest obstacles to getting started. But we broke through and we are on our 2nd purchase right here in Phoenix!! Thanks Dean!

I have many times placed ghost ads and put our bandit signs,then sat at home and let the phone go to voice mail and never return messages. Finally got my first LLC and am going for it! Thank you for all your encouragement.

Marcy

Dean,
When I was in my late teens, I had brain surgery. After this operation, for some unknown reason, I feared everything. It didn't matter what it was. Big, small, minuscule.The brain is very complex. If allowed, it will take over your life and it had taken over my life. It took me over 20 years after this surgery to rebuilding my self-worth and to stand up to someone or even not feel inferior. It has been an uphill battle for many years. Today is now a different story. In the last few years, I was able to gather enough confidence to feel that anything I put my hands on turns out. And it does. It doesn't matter how big or small. It does not necessarily mean that everything becomes as projected but it is all how the outcome is viewed. However, the more I tackle stuff the better the outcome. I have made a choice and view everything I do as being a victory. It is all in the way we condition our minds.
Choices! We have the last say! Hence, those leopard spots can be changed.

My best regards,
Dan Vincent

After spending two days reading EVERY comment, I realize that I'm not alone in my fears about REI!! I have many of the same fears and I have come to realize that I better get off my butt and CHANGE or else I'm going to be afraid of things forever and that is not acceptable especially at my age when I'm supposed to be doing this for my sons future let alone my own. One of my fears is talking to sellers face to face, I mean really? How am I supposed to be successful if I can't even talk to people? That needs to change NOW!! Thank you Dean and DG family for the inspiration and motivation to get off my butt and stop being afraid!!

I grew up being looked down upon and was told that I would never amount to anything. I am breaking those word curses and speaking words of life and prosperity. I am striving to break down the walls that have held me captive and enter into the kingdom of endless possibilities, to change my paradigms of limitedness into creating my life in the unlimited !

Great weekly widom. For me confrontation is my fear to moving forward to a better future.Speaking to a realtor that doubt of not saying the right things is holding me back.I need to listen to more of your weekly wisdom to boost my confident,still reading your book.Thank you Dean have a great week.

Yep, I know that feeling. Being from California (and a Libra) I'm a "peace maker" by personality. Then I moved to New York City and lived there for almost 10 years.

Man, talk about confrontation! Those folks confront constantly and boldly. Although not my personality, I've learned some people (like New Yorker's) that's all they know! So, rather bold or mild, do what needs to be done! Thanks Dean.
Bruno

Thank you dean, we all our own fears, and we need to overcome, my fear is the fear of the unknown, i dont know how things will work out. I have fear to be my own boss, will it work. Need to work on these fears. Thanks you dean, I apreaciate this wisdom. We really need to work on our brain and fix it.

Fred

HI Dean i would love the opportunity to winner.My computer is broken and is unable to fix so i go to the library once a week to listen to you.THANK YOU FOR YOUR ENCOURAGING WORDS OF WISDOM.

Thank you Dean for your encouraging words of wisdom.I would like the opportunity to win that MAC computer.

You're absolutely right about being afraid of phone calls. That is my biggest fear. If I put out bandit signs and the phone starts to ring I'm afraid to answer the call for fear of not knowing what to say and potentially blowing a deal. I will try to get over my fears and get this thing going. Thanks for all the great wisdom and knowledge you deliver to us. You're an inspiration to us all. Have an awesome week!

I hate confrontation. I know it is the cause of failure. I enjoyed this video very much . I am always trying to learn.

I would like to be in control of my finances. I noticed that is my major problem. I would like to be successful. I would like to learn how to be in control of my finances.

You really hit the nail on the head. Actually, I was becoming uncomfortable during your post since I felt like you were talking directly to me. I am so afraid to call banks and realtors!! Probably because you were right, I feel like they would think I don't know what I am talking about. I did contact a bank and the bank told me in response to getting a mortgage on a property purchased with cash "you can't do that anymore, it has to be seasoned!" and had a realtor acting disinterested as if he gets these "stupid" real estate course attendees calls every week. Actually, speaking with my long time realtor about the 25:1 strategy she told me "ok, let's have it, what course did you take over the weekend?" I felt so defensive. I wish I had someone to go with me for a day or two.

You really struck a chord with me....FEAR!

Currently have a fear of talking to strangers which makes raising private money for real estate deals hard.
But a change can occur instantly so I will be going to events asking if anyone would like to partner up on real estate deals and that is a easy way find private money. Instead of asking if people have money directly. I can just let people know i am looking for real estate partners and see what they can contribute to the partnership. Maybe money, time or knowledge.

Especially enjoyed your weekly wisdom this week. I watch it every week, and always receive food for thought. I have to let you know after listening this week I am going to try to attach more pain to doing a particular project at home that I continually have avoided, but now I am going to focus on turning this around, thanks to you!
I have not posted, before, so hope I'm in the right place, cuz you also gave me the incentive to win the MacBook Air. I am on the verge of taking the real estate plunge, thanks to you, and I have never had a laptop. Thanks again!

There wouldn't be enough room here for me to post my story. I have overcome a lot thanks to God's help on realizing I am capable - of anything. I went through an intense training at my last job as an English teacher. I had to stand before all the other teachers, owners, and managers with an open book and teach them English.

For a full long month I overcame ALL my insecurities and beliefs of not being able to talk, or teach, or inspire and I got the job. To my surprise teaching has become a love of mine and all the abilities I learned have transferred on to real estate.

Today I can pick up a phone and talk to anybody. Even though I feel bugs in the stomach, I just go and do it and its natural and normal for me. I am going through more changing phases in my life now and I'm working towards completing that first deal with my husband.

I haven't given up. I know everything God has taught me about real estate is not a waste and it's no coincidence I am here part of the DG family. Thank you everyone for all the tid bits of wisdom. May God bless everyone with continued progress and success.

Take care.

-Cj

Your weekly wisdom sure made sense. I just got off the phone with my wife and she was saying the same thing you were. Change is what needs to happen, Dan. You have to change to be a good father, husband or businessman.
Thanks for your constant support when all seems lost. I know that I need a few good investors and a renewed outlook...and look out!

So, why don't we face it head on? Fear, of course!

Avoiding confrontation did not come to mind when you first began the WW, but I must say, like most others; it just kind of slapped me in the face! I actually get angry w/myself when I don't confront issues, and end up taking it out on others (family, etc.). This obviously has a negative effect on my family life/surroundings and causes unnecessary stress and bad feelings! Yes, that is MUCH more painful than if I were to meet these situations head-on. This is something I must put a priority on!!

Other things I know I need to change:

- Being more organized & consistent! I have had a bit of success recently, but know that I am "shooting from the hip" a lot lately!

- Making plans/schedules and sticking to them.

- Stop procrastinating with furthering my REI education (other things, too) and becoming more diversified.

If I do these simple things; I KNOW I can AT LEAST double my income!! SO, what's stopping me? ONLY me, of course!

Thanks Dean, for a great message!

Dear Dean,

I feel like I have really improved these past few months. I hate confrontations but I am getting better and better each day. My thought right now in my mind at all times is ONE-AT-A-TIME. When I get overwhelmed by the calls I receive from bandit signs and think how in the world will I take them all? ONE-AT-A-TIME. How in the world will I tackle all items in my to-do list? ONE-AT-A-TIME. I want to crush it and confront everything! I also always think, how did Dean and his top students become millionaires? ONE-DOLLAR-AT-A-TIME! Sometimes I get frustrated with too many things going on but I know everything you teach your students helps us reach our goals. I can truly feel it closer each time!!

Thank you,
Lydia
(469)554-9765
nlydiao1@****

Thank You Dean For Another Awesome Weekly Wisdom, And For always Keeping Us Motivated
I have always tended to be a little on the shy side and avoided confrontations as well, whenever possible.
But I always have strived to improve my way of life( Hated being very poor as a kid) so I made little life goals /Milestones to accomplish, Each goal accomplished bringing more & more Confidence
Since I joined you Dean & Started doing REI and doing more deals, Talking to homeowners,agents ,other investor /buyers etc. my confidence grows by the day:)Full Steam Ahead!
I am closing on a FSBO This week,another FSBO Next week, And my 1st of many out of state buy & Hold's by the 26th, also a short sale for a couple who called from my Bandit signs, Unfortunately my realtor took the deal from me:( The search begins for another realtor,but I am not going away quietly on it LOL ( working on at least some of her commission from it ?
Thank You again Dean & Dg Fam,
LETS MAKE IT A GOOD WEEK EVERYBODY
Darren From Calif.
P.S. Your apple lap top will have A Good Home Here LOL

Thxs Dean for the inspiration as usual.
The new format of the main page on your website looks nice and informative. Thanks for the property offers, but not enough cash to purchase them at this time. Thanks for your staff also calling last week about your properties for sale, due to phone issues, haven't been able to call her back, hope to soon.
In need of an updated android phone, hoping to find a discent deal soon in order to keep up with your blogs, etc.

Changes: I need to stop being intimated by agents and rehabbers and get more organized in general in order to succeed at anything. Overwhelmed with all the info in front of me and lacking computer access makes it worse. Have two rehabs pending numerous issues that seem to get worse as time passes by.
Winter kills me with high electric bills, afraid to
leave the heat off due to the chance of broken pipes,
water damage, etc. on these rehabs. Probably need to sell them as is and forget his whole business.

Ron
St. Louis, MO 63126