Weekly Wisdom #254 - Leopards Changing Spots

Dean, I've dealt with the same issue on confrontations my whole life. I can't even begin to count up the things I've lost out on just because I was afraid to speak out. Never before did I consider attaching pain to the avoidance side, just always to overwhelmed by the fear to see the situation for what it really is. I'm going to put your suggestion to use!

Like most people, I have certain aspects of my life that I would like to improve upon. It was easy to blame "circumstances beyond my control" or "others" for my shortcomings because it was more appealing than admitting to myself that I was the issue. I now take ownership.

In January I took a long hard look in the mirror, and I have to tell you that I didn't like what I saw in the reflection. I had allowed things to spiral out of control. Once I realized that it was me that was holding myself hostage I decided to take steps to improve my so called life.

I'm not going to sit here and lie and tell you that everything is coming up roses, because frankly, I'm still dealing with a lot of manure. And you know what? That manure is starting to turn into fertilizer!

Three things that I am currently working on are eliminating procrastination, prioritizing, and embracing and taking ownership of both my action and inaction. Surprisingly, I found that my bad habits were all due to the fact that I was afraid of meeting and passing my goals. It was the fear of success.

On a side note...I modified that "Why" exercise to get to the root of my issues, and I have to tell you, it wasn't pretty. I thought the exercise was challenging enough when I used it to find my "Why", but when I used it to find my "Anti-Why" and discovered that I was the one standing in my way, it scared the you know what out of me!

Jennifer

I fear the unknown. Me and my partner have been working on buying our first property but there are obstacles in our way. We both work at a job that works us 6 days a week, and average of 10 hrs a day. Some of the obstacle have been not having enough money, and time to scout property in our area. We haven't given up but its taking longer than usual. One of my fears is not being able to move forward and knowing how.

Yes Dean
Don't know how to get this going and how to confront the people that re out there on how to get this going, Not sure on what to do.

Great insight today Dean. Your "pep talk" reminds me of the book, "Eat that Frog" by Brian Tracy about how to face your demons and stop procrastinating. Before kids, I was a successful VP of a large reinsurance broker. I was wheeling and dealing all of the time w/multi million dollar insurance programs. After having kids and not working for 11 years, I want to get back into the game, but I don't know what happen to my confidence and more importantly, "mojo" Action = Money. I got to get my mojo back!

My spots keep bleeding back through. I find myself going back to my old habits. Darn well knowing that I am the only one that can make a change for the better. I have no support. On the contrary, I have family who want me to get a conventional JOB(just over broke). My vision is to be successful in Real Estate. I'm here trying once again to change my spots. Get on the train, Horse, etc. and ride. I want your computer for the special things you put on it. Anything to help me get going again. I know I can be successful as many here are.

Thanks for that great info, I too do not like to talk on the phone after listening to this I am going to do just that pick up the phone and do what I should have been doing. Again thanks

FRAN

Thank you for your continous weekly wisdoms! I am a part time real estate sales person always looking for investment property and to have monthly residual income. Some of the challenges I face are: not having cash to buy more property; scared of failure; haven't finished the "30 Days to Real Estate Cash" book yet. The list goes on.

Things I need to change:

Finish the "30 Days to Real Estate Cash" book within 30 days.

After I finish the book, the I will apply those principles to my real estate business.

It's my desire to quit my full time job in IT and devote my business 100% to real estate.

Look forward in your future weekly wisdoms!

We honestly cannot change the outside world to become free, we must change ourselves so that the world becomes free.

It is really difficult to be positive around negative energy. With that simple truth we must only then associate with like people and at least never back down from how we feel about a situation.

I've dealt with so much struggle in every area of life and its only when I followed my heart that things started to happen in my favor.

Love your blogs DEAN!

They always get me back on track.

Hi Dean.... well, to hear you talk about that habit/trait you had and change it, it has inspired me so much. Even though I've been in the real estate business for 20 years, I have been letting myself down by being afraid of diving in when I know I should. I may just have to scream and do it and know that I'll come up for air eventually. Thank you very much, I am not on this site as much as I should, but when I do, I get so darn inspired and can puts the fight back in me.

Dean,
You actually called me out on this one, I have been frightened to death of calling potential sellers, realtors etc. I have been practicing meditation lately and will meditate on changing my thought process regarding my inability to face any kind of challenge or confrontation.
Thanks,

Thank you Dean! You talked about exactly what I'm going through right now. And it was the day after I had to confront an issue and even though I knew I had to do it, it was scary. But listening to your video message helped me realize even more so that I was doing the right thing. It wasn't helping me or anyone else to not confront the issue.

Thanks!

Dean, 

It's apparent from the number of responses this Weekly Wisdom has generated that there are a lot of us that felt like you were talking directly to us! (How do you manage to do that every week?)

Last week I read the post from Wholesaler on finding our big WHY and making sure we're still on task.  I know WHY I am doing this, but I had never thought to find out what my big WHY is for NOT doing the things you tell us we need to do to be a success.  Once I read Jason's post I couldn't believe I had never thought about connecting those spots and changing them.

Obviously what Wholesaler wrote resounded deeply for me because this is the second week I felt that his insight is something I need to follow and share.  I've included his post below in hopes there are others that need to connect the spots before changing them.

The things I am learning as a member of the DG Family are not just changing my finances, they are changing me into a better me.  I am so grateful to all of you that teach.  Who knew I could learn so much at 57?!?

"On 7:45am, September 9th, 2013 Wholesaler said:

Going Deep to find out WHY

Dean,

Thank you for another great weekly wisdom and for taking the time each week to encourage us and give us the benefit of your experience and wisdom. We appreciate you.

And you're so right! I found out many things I didn't even realize about myself and the journey I am on when I did the 7 LEVELS DEEP exercise that you've talked about before. (I wanted to post a link to the exercise for those who have not come across it yet, but I couldn't find it on the website.)

I've also found that in addition to going deep on WHY you want to do real estate investing, it also works great to go deep on WHY you might not be successful yet. Going deep and getting to the root of the issues with WHY you might be procrastinating. Perhaps you're afraid of failure or afraid of success. Or WHY you might not be getting the type of results you want. Maybe you're trying to reinvent the wheel by tweaking a new strategy before even trying it the original way. We could all benefit from asking WHY something is not working and brainstorming to figure out how to make it work for us.

Going Deep has helped me get to the bottom of many of my own issues and helped me to find a way to get through, over, under or around those issues and obstacles so I could get on with my life and my career.

Jason"

This was a very motivating post, I see how I can use it to attempt to turn my own behaviors that I don't like in to winning behaviors.
I want to be as actively invested daily as possible in real estate, but I'm not. I know that I can't do nothing either, so I do something, but not as much as I should. The change I am struggling with is committing fully.
I think if I attach this dismal feeling of disappointment to the busy work that I use to avoid working on real estate - I will quickly become more involved with real estate.

Thanks Dean

Since we've done our 3 day training in Denver back in April, I have lost 30lbs through diet & exercise, completed our first real estate deal and on the way to more, broke free from a 30 year addiction, started writing a book to help others break free, and brought my marriage and family into better alignment. I choose to give credit to God, but recognize that He is working through me taking action to continually move gradually away from who I was.

The hardest for me to always confront is the me that I've been over most of my life. I've associated pleasure with the me I now choose to be.

Interesting thoughts on growing and changing. I definitely don't like leaving my comfort zone. As as been said, "If you aim at nothing, you are sure to hit it."

My biggest fear or uneasiness is trusting other investors or want to be investors and its getting to be a huge problem in networking and teaming.Ieve been so close to completing good deals and they fell through with the lack of the buyers to get along with the sellers and complete deals.Iam a very honest and caring person and not cheap, very fair and people seem to think Iam easy to push around and I guess a fool and thats been a huge mistake.Ieve been beaten up alot in life for being so caring and willing to share and teach, this is by far my greatest issue at this time and I work on it and pray about each day with all my heart, there are no other fears.It has become the biggest mountain I have ever tryed to climb.I will over come it with some very good deals done with partners and they will be priceless partners, very priceless.There is no amount of money thats worth being shady or dishonest over it to get it, no matter how much is involved, its not worth it!!!!!!!!, Jim ( I work and average of 6-12 hrs most days on this and love it so much and helping others, I can always find deals, always. )( this fear brings the greatest uncomfort you could ever have, but some how and some way I will get it behind me, ones choice of friends and assocates( sp) are very important, they impact your life)

My biggest shortcoming as a professional is with discipline. I let anything interrupt me. I don't seem to know how to really stop paying attention to to things that don't matter in order to focus on what does.

My plan is to deal with that 15 minutes at a time. That is, I'm going to set a goal of focusing on something without being distracted for a full 15 minutes. No email. No Facebook, no answering the phone. I'll do that each day until I get five days in a row. Then I'll move it to 30 minutes and see how that works. I should be much more productive that way. At least that's my hope.

I have to start making my goals clear, become more organized and use my time in a wise manner.

Hey Dean,

I've been putting off hiring a property inspector because of the story I was telling myself in my head. I watched this video and considered the fear of what my life/business would look like if I didn't do this. I just finished calling people who had responded to my ad, and I had a great experience and a sense of relief. I am worthy!

Thank you Dean.

I do have a fear of confrontation, but my biggest fear is failure based on the failure of a previous business and the money I am still paying back 6 years after it has been closed. I am actively dealing with this and using the Real Estate business to push me plus I have found a wonderful business partner who is guiding me through this and we are very close to making our first deal!

I can do this. At the REI group I go to, I have learned that many people have one or more business failures under their belt and I have to realize that it was a learning experience, not a failure.

Bless you for all that you provide!

Harriet~

but going 100 miles with the brakes on due to
lack of money!

I wrote you on FB Dean, and also made you an offer on your property. Thanks

Julie

Thx for email reminder Dean! I am glad to be back here to share.

On confrontation:
If it is with someone I care about, I will take initiative no matter how ugly the situation.. Because I care about this person.

In business:
I think whenever there is confrontation, this will be the chance you get to know the other party better. that being said,
I am always willing to walk away from a deal.

Love DG family.

Yes Dean, I would love to have your MacBook Air and pearls of wisdom. Because everything that you think of is a pearl of wisdom. I think you are one of the greatest people I know. My wife and I are planning to join your real estate investors group very shortly, after mopping up a few issues.
Things I am scared of?
Loosing whatever tiny savings we have.
Bankruptcy.
Making mistakes which can wipe us out.
And that is why I am going to follow in your foot steps. Thanks for caring so much!!!

We totally agree with you Dean on confrontation...I try to avoid it as much as possible. My sister and I just went to your 3 day workshop this past weekend and are so excited to start this process, but there are certainly a few obstacles we need to overcome ourselves. Personally for me, it's the unknown I fear. Once I watch someone do something or have someone "hand hold" me through it once, I am good to go! I have seen this countless times in my professional career, but I have to say, I have always overcome! I know I just need to push myself through these first few deals, use the steps laid out for us, and then post our success.
Looking forward to years of success and deals to come. Thanks for putting this all together and sharing positive messages!
Sisters on a Mission!!!
Brenda

got burned out when I finished my coaching sessions and did nothing for while. so I made a call to a seller who I made an offer on and he responded positively and I sent him another offer. on my way brother. the ed. was the best thing I ever did. thank you

got burned out when I finished my coaching sessions and did nothing for while. so I made a call to a seller who I made an offer on and he responded positively and I sent him another offer. on my way brother. the ed. was the best thing I ever did. thank you

thanks for another great wisdom video!! i feel like i'm just HOVERING as you described and i KNOW i am capable of much more !! i have been for a couple yrs doing deals and accomplishing alot but have not done the RIGHT thing by creating the SYSTEM and have been feeling like i have too much on my plate with work and everything.i have listened to you and tony robbins and rich dad for many yrs and have put into play many important things.i believe i am on the path to success but the next level seems to be going slowly.i BLAME my job on my slow success but KNOW this just is a cop out and this weeks video has sparked a new energy to find out what i need to do that is slowing me down.thanks for all your lifes lessons that you share and for keeping us on track to ALWAYS be improving and evolving !!Iam seeking to improve EVERYTHING about me and will continue to learn and grow because i am with the RIGHT people !!!!! YOU and YOUR organization !! and this awesome group !!!

Jay

I have a fear of talking to people, to create my buyers list, realtors and creating my Power Team.
From this point on, I will keep pushing forward until my team is built. Thank You, Dean

WOW!! You Read My Mind! I also do not like confrontation and talking on the phone with strangers. I know I shouldn't be that way, and many times when I finally do confront, or make that phone call, I feel better! Thanks Dean, for letting me know that I'm not alone. You give me courage to want to confront people, and make ALL those phone calls to ALL those strangers. AND...If I make enough phone calls, they're not strangers anymore. I can do this! I can be a leopard changing spots!

OR..Maybe..
A leopard changing spots,
with a new laptop!

Hey! That rhymes!
Colette