spouse or partner does not approve ? WE CAN HELP

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and help motivate the ones that have no or little support. From the moment I ordered the books, I knew I would have to hide this from my family and friends. I have a lot of negative people in my life with little ambition. One Sunday afternoon, I went to my mothers and decided to share what I have been reading and working on. When I approached her with these thoughts and ideas of mine, she automatically told me it was the worst thing to do, it's a scam and how could I be so naive. She also said that because I'm a singe mother of two, I'm going to let my kids down and how could I possibly risk everything I have. I left my mother's house crying and feeling so worthless. After a few days of digesting and analyzing what she had said, I still felt and feel in my heart this is for me and I can do it. I am scared, but I have faith and a lot of hope. I just have to lean on people such as yourslef for support. Thank you again for being positive and sharing your hope with others. Lord knows I need support and guidance.

I know its easier said than done especially when it concerns someone you love and in some way you would like their appreciation, support and comfort in doing something you feel strongly about or am nervous with.

However, if you don't get it, then sometimes you just have to be like "oh well". Think of something minuscule that the loved one may not like and compare it to then go from there.

If you're passionate about football or NASCAR and your mate hates it, you're not going to just stop right??? Why would you stop when there is something that can better your life??? Like I said they'll be kissing your arse when you cash that first, second, third and so on checks.

Add to their ignorance and shame when you mention them so nonchalantly.

Just do it. No regrets.

elix makes some really great points!! dont give up!!at first many families dont want to take a risk so they never reach their true potential.I bet after you learn all you can about realestate on this site and complete your first deal,these same family members will be asking you how u did it and some will no doubt want u to teach them !!your family only wants what is best for you .They do not realize that dean,this site and all the awesome people on this here such as elix and many more are willing to do all they can to see YOU SUCCEED by giving you the advice and direction that they have gained.take the time to read laura johnsons journal and rina and anita and carol stinson.see what they have done in a short period of time and u will see that you can do it as well!!
jay

Hello Kelly, after reading your post I have to tell you that You should do what YOU feel is the right thing to do. You dont have to invest a lot of money to get started. You can read Deans book and use this site for any questions you have and make it, Just give it 100% honest effort and you will succeed. Once you do a deal and get some capital to work with ,you will start turning heads on the home front. My wife never supported me in it and felt it was a scam also. But I did it anyway because I envisioned the end result and was not going to let anyone stop me. Its kind of like Elix said, would you stop doing somethin you like because someone else doesnt like it? I know I wouldnt. Start out simple. wholesaling is a good way to go, no money or credit needed. See Carol Stinsons Journal, She is an amazin lady that I think is one of the greatest success stories here. read her whole journal from start to finish and tell me what you think.
best of luck

Richie.

My husband as many of you know is still super skeptical and weary and critical. He views my computer time as wasted time and responds by coming home from his job, re-putting away what we've already cleaned up because what we do isn't good enough (supposed to look like his parents house that looks like no one lives there) - with 4 kids) , and then plopping in front of the tv, sticking the kids in front of the tv until he falls asleep, waking only to put the kids to bed. Younger kids get bored of the tv within minutes (i don't let them watch much tv), older kids are gluee to tv until bed time. And at that, enforcing bedtime is something I have to do. Bedtime is my ONLY free time uninterrupted. And, even at that, my 1 year old still doesn't follow a set schedule and she's cutting some more teeth and is up until late hours sometimes.

It gets very intimidating, but I keep pressing on. I sometimes feel he is waiting for and wanting me to fail. Sometimes I think he's afraid of me succeeding. He is very discouraging, but then I see a slight glimmer. My hard drive is failing on my business computer and for the first time he offered to help me. Its little. Very small, but not insignificant. He likes to look at properties online and find properties. But, he's still skeptical of it all. I gave him my private money site to look at and critique and asked for his advice, he didn't look at it but for a small glance.

So, I gotta get these deals closing! That's all there is to it. The only way he's going to see that this can be done is to see me succeed. I cannot and will not fail, despite every issue, hinderance, obstacle or negativity in my path. It is certain I will succeed, because I believe it myself and see it being accomplished.

I can't let his feelings and naysay and negatively bring me down and stop me. For any reason. And so, I press on. And I REALLY rely on my positive reinforcement right here on this site and the DG family which helps me to keep pressing on! Thank you!

I had to chuckle when I read your post, and no offense but it is obvious that you are not married. Being married is a give and take relationship and without the support of your spouse you may as well call the divorce attorney.

Good story Laura, we must be related because we have the same last name. I am in a similar situation with my wife. I have done a few things that I thought would change our lives financially and of course failed to be successful. However, here I am wanting to be a Real Estate Investor in the worst kind of way. I have read 3 of Dean's books and purchased the Edge 2009 series. By the way, my wife was really mad when she found out that I borrowed the money to purchase this series. Anyway, I would really love to be part of the Success Academy but just can't get around paying that amount of money. I have people call me and tell me to put it on a credit card but that would make my life miserable with my wife. I will not sacrifice my marriage for real estate, should I have too??

I was really pumped up about real estate for a long while but am starting to lose my enthusiasm because of the lack of support, any words of wisdom?

Thanks Randy, you may be getting a request from me!

hey tammy,dont giveup !! keep that persistence and it WILL pay off.it can be intimidating for sure but that is only a WORD!! remember as focus said .....KEEP THAT UNBREAKABLE MINDSET !!!

dave: you can stay married and invest in realestate too!! read totally fullfilled if you have not already and i am sure you will see things in a totally different light!! this book helped me in many ways !! stay on this site and read,ask questions and seek support from all the like minded people here cause we want you to succeed and are behind you 100 %
jay

After reading this I get the sense that you have tried other thing with little or no success.No big deal its better to have tried than sit on the couch and do nothing.

Its now time to talk to your wife about thinks you have DONE, not what you want to do. Stop dreaming with her. Before anyone can respect you ,you have to respect yourself. Respect is something thats earned from hard work. Doing what ever it takes to get there.

If your on this site you will have plenty of support stop going to her. Sometimes the hardest journeys should be taken alone.Thats when you find out who you are.
I had a friend come to me the other day complaining about his relationship and about work. He felt that his relationship was getting in the way of his career. After talking w/ him I realized that as long as he consumed his time with his relationship he didn't have to deal with work. Let go of the need for your wife approval and concentrate on youe success.

You have the power it all depends on what your paying attention to

Adam

I am so gratefull to Dean and all of the beautiful DG Family. I have had a very bad last 2 years with loosing my dad then my job in 2008 (he has lived with me for the last 30years since my mom had passed away at 42 and my brother & sister had gone on with their lives.) I then lost my husband in 2009 & when he passed away I was then left with no income because Social Security was the only thing we were living on. It stops when that person is no long here. I was also very sick my self I have Lymphedema of both of my legs(they are the size of cement bricks)& I also have a hernia the size of a 30 lb ball sitting on my left leg. I lost my home and income all with in a few months. But I had a Sister and Brother In-Law on the other side of the state that took my Daughter & her 3 children & me into their home so we would have a roof over our heads & food. But things are looking up I got Deans books have read them but had to set goals to get my life on the mends. I promissed my dad & husband that I would take care of my health. So I have had surgery on the hernia and (about 4 surgeries to date on that I almost died but I guess it wasn't my turn to go!!) then I have gawn thru therapy with my
legs and have lost 11,000 ml of fluid and guess what I have a foot and ankle and legs look like a normal persons I mean I have to use conpression stocking all day and I have to use a machine to compress the fluid out 2 x's aday I'm ok I am going to go out and buy my self a pair of sandles when I get paid ones that I can get my foot into. My wish has been for years since 2001 when I got this disease to just be normal and wear a pair of shoes. Well I'm just met this goal and can't wait. I all ways search the TV informecials to see if Dean is on I haven't done any deals yet. Trying to get motavated wear to start first. No one to talk with My sister doesn't believe this can happen. But I keep remembering Dean saying " its up to us to change our lives no one is going to do it for us." I believe this I am at the bottom theirfore I can only get better. So I need all the sapport I can get and if you call could please point me in the right direction as to step 1,2, etc.... and leand an ear maybe no not maybe but I can take steps to build a new life for myself I need friends I have lots of time but am very scared and alone. thanks for letting me vent Bertha
PS sorry this is so long.

Wow, you have gone through A LOT! You've come to the right place because we are like family here, and everyone is so supportive. First step is to take that fear and tell it what for and get rid of it. You've already overcome so many things that are more intimidating! YOU CAN AND WILL SUCCEED. I have a video I recommend every investor watch when they join. ALthough its not about investing per se, it says alot about getting up and going and being the success you will be. It is worth the time it takes and isn't selling anything. ! http://www.viddler.com/explore/khalidalzanki/videos/7/ ENJOY it, it is really an ENCOURAGEMENT you need to hear!

Jay this is awesome!!!

When I first got my books and began implementing what I read into my daily life my own children thought it was a scam and wold not work. They would leave monopoly money from the game on my desk and say it was my pay... Now when they ask for money I give them monopoly money...LOL!

My husband, though supportive, was doubtful. My friends thought I was nuts driving around looking for vacant houses. But when I started making money they started calling me with addresses of vacant houses hoping that I would pay them a finders fee... So now who has the last laugh?

Thank God I stayed focused and dedicated in spite of the negative people around me. I just kept telling myself this had to work and the fact that everyone said it wouldn't made me try even harder to prove them wrong.

You MUST Stay focused on the goal! Surround yourself with like minded people by going to Investor meetings and socializing with people who are doing it. Visit here on DG often to get encouragement and tips. Network with others who are making Real Estate a part of their life.

You will prevail if you keep pushing!! It does get easier once you start making money... Then everyone want's to join you in what your doing because your making more than they are...

tell whoever is not in your corner to "kiss my arse, i'm going to make it with or without by my side or your support". maybe not in those exact words, but in a way that they know their opinion is just not important

There is no better satisfaction than when someone tells you that you can't do something, and then when you do it, and let them know in a manner thats not too celebatory. And then the small questions come about

"wow, congrats,.....must have been a nice check huh???" Like they in some way expect you to tell them. Just reply with a "it was ok. not bad at all for the small amount of time I spent making it happen..." Dig the knife of successful sarcasm as deep in as you possibly can.

Once things start flowing, watch as the naysayers start 'finding' all of a sudden homes for sale, abandoned homes, and just happened to speak with someone who kows someone who may be selling their home. give them a nice and friendly brush of like "oh really??? keep that info its just that right now I am swamped with other clients that i'm working with. thaks for the lookout..." best believe they were counting the money they expected from you.

In closing, at the end of the day, all you have is you when it comes to something that you want and need. Have no one hold you back.

Hope it helps

thanks to all who have shared their story and insight on this subject.i believe these stories and tips and lessons learned will help others share their side and hopefully will let others see that they r not alone in the struggles of rei investing dealing with naysayers and other challenges.as each tells of what they encounter and how they deal with it ,they are helping someone out in their situation!! if this post helps just one person to KEEP GOING and succeed then that is AWESOME !!

I would like to also add that elix is right on in saying if you like nascar ,would you quit watching it if someone didnt approve?? NO OF COURSE NOT !! so let that sink in as todays thought of the day!!

do not quit ,just do it,take action ,you cant make excuses and money too !!,if not today....when?? !! just a few of the motivating phrases that stick in my head that i read or heard today from this awesome site and even more awesome people !!!!!

help someone today and as dean says in his totally fullfilled book GIVE,GIVE,GIVE,GIVE

have a fantastic day !!
jay

Family will or should always be first. I don't know what other programs you have been in that were not successful. I can tell you this real estate has been around for all of time it is not another get rich quick scam.
You don't have to spend any more money than you want to on training or books. The more training you have the better off you may be, but you can buy and sell real estate right now. You have came to the right place to learn new ways of buying and selling.

My point is you can buy a house tomarrow and not spend any more money that your wife does not want you to spend on books academy or any other training.

You and your wife need to start looking at houses you want to buy and sell. you already have enough in books, now take action and show every one you can make this work.

hello dale,thank you for your post and YESSSSS it is hard to keep the positive attitude when you have neg vibes on the homefront but you must keep the faith and press on no matter what !!! in a few days or weeks you will look back and see that you have moved forward in a positive way and that will give you mountains of confidence to build upon AND if you post here how you did it and share with others the feelings and actions you took to keep going u will have helped many people that you dont even realize !!!
think of countless people that are on their way to success ...thanks to your sharing of how you proceeded to take action in spite of naysayers all around you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KEEP the positive attitude you have developed and share it as you have 100 % support here !! every one has 24 hrs in the day ....it is how u spend that time that seperates the doers from the wanna doers !!! or success ful students of deans free knowledge on this site !!

MAKE THINGS HAPPEN i know you have the drive !! do it !! and share with us how you did it !! give ,give.give !!
jay

I`ve loved reading these posts because I`m in the same boat. My wife doesn`t support me on anything I try to better ourselves financially. I`m birddogging now to make some cash to show her I can do this. I`m just waiting for the first opportunities to come in. She thinks you have to work for someone to make it in this world and make them rich. Hopefully when I make a couple thousand dollars, she will support me 100%.

Ken

They will come around when they see that first commission check for your work. My husband and son have been there side by side with me from the beginning and are learning and growing everyday in REI. My son is going to be a investor for a career. They love it. When they see those investors counting the cash into my hands they can't help but love it.

Jay, since today is my very first day on this forum, I too, am pumped and excited about the possibility of learning and becoming the very best I can be concerning R.E., but I also know that you will never be truly happy in life doing Dean's R.E. if your wife is not on board. It sounds as if you were going through a rough patch of your own...with working long hours and trying to do the R.E., that you yourself wasn't making time for YOU as well! Now, that she is on board I guarantee you will flourish in the R.E. field and soon....YOU will be able to retire from the construction and focus only on the R.E. and make big money while enjoying your family by having more time with them, which in my opinion is more important.
Prisjean

Hello everyone! A big thanks to jbtoggs for starting this post and the many DGers who have taken the time to tell their stories and/or offer support. After reading all the posts thus far, I'd like to offer my thoughts on the subject of becoming an REI and how that choice and process can affect one's personal relationships. Although I'm brand new to real estate investing myself, I'm also a retired licensed mental health counselor and spent many, many hours listening to people, paying special attention to transitions in peoples' lives and the psychological mechanics of change. About my having been a psychotherapist, the operative word there is retired...I let my license expire years ago because I made a career change, so I am not able to provide professional-level mental health support to anyone. What I can do is make general comments about change and the various ways it can affect us and our relationships. My goal is to offer fellow DGers different ways to think about the experiences that are being posted here. As with everything else, take what you find useful and don't worry about what doesn't pertain to you.

The decision to become a real estate investor is really a decision to reinvent yourself, and this is no small endeavor. It's much easier to do if you understand the nature of transitions. Let me say that again...it's MUCH easier to do if you understand the nature of transitions. Every transition has a beginning, a middle, and an end. The beginning of every transition comes about because something has ended. You can think about this in terms of a particular job or career, but I want you to think about it in terms of who you are, your personal identity. So, if you're not exactly who you were before this significant decision to become a real estate investor, who exactly are you? You may not know or even care yet, but the people in your life who are used to waking up every day to the old you are probably asking themselves this very question about you. Some may take it in stride, others may experience a great deal of anxiety (not necessarily the presenting emotion) about the change. I see people putting a lot of energy into trying to convince their partner to feel the same way about REI as they do. There could be many reasons for this, but let's just say it's because this new path you're on feels lonely. Here's something important to know: Every bona fide transition involves a certain amount of intrinsic loneliness. It may not feel comfortable, but it's the nature of transition. It isn't absolutely necessary to feel completely or even marginally understood by others to come through this okay. In its most fundamental sense, readiness is a developmental concept usually applied to early childhood development. In this context it means people are ready when they're ready and not a second sooner. Ask your partner how he or she feels. Let it be what it is without judgment or a need to change it. Use the DG site to get support from others on the same path. Know that there will be a certain amount of loneliness in this process that is normal and that will eventually be replaced with this new identity you are constructing.

One more thing here: I cannot stress enough how important it is to be aware of and in control of your thoughts, especially your subconscious mind which is completely impartial and acts on whatever you feed it. If your feelings and thoughts about your partner and his or her reaction to REI are constantly focused on what you don't like or are not receiving, that's what you get more of. Instead, even if it isn't true right now, imagine and feel your partner as supportive and comfortable with you and what you are doing. Instruct your subconscious mind to neutralize and replace every negative thought or feeling with it's positive counterpart. Do this every morning when you first wake up and at night just before you go to sleep. Try it for a couple of weeks and see what happens!

Here's to your success!

Colleen Childers

Thank you all for your positive advice. It's nice to know you can trust people and really believe they want you to succeed and will go that extra mile just to help.

I just purchased the Real Estate Success Academy and I have been drowning myself with information for the past week. As tired as I am, I'm just as excited, and I can't wait until I put my first deal together!

Happy Investing to all!!

Thank you! Your post helped me in so many ways! I so appreciate you taking the time to post your thoughts and educated advice! I am really working on 'state of mind' and my internal representation. I have a lot of insults and criticisms and outright mean things that have been told to me that I need to turn around and extinguish from myself and your post is so invaluable! Thank you!

Tammy, you're very welcome. You are one strong lady, you do know that, don't you? Being a beacon of light in one's family has it's pros and cons. Just by being who you are you lift the people around you and show them a better way. The challenge is not allowing others to drain your emotional reserves to the point where you know you're really struggling inside. If you let that happen, you're missing the point of being a beacon of light. Although this may sound vague to some, I have a hunch you know exactly what I'm talking about.

Okay, so now I'd like to say something in general here about negative people...Dean is right on when he says to (very loosely paraphrasing) get thyself as far away from these folks as you can. Negativity is ALWAYS destructive. There is no such thing as good or helpful negativity. I'm not talking about the generally positive person who has a bad day and makes an occasional negative comment. We all get crabby from time to time. I mean the person whose knee-jerk response to everything is negative and thinks criticism and put-downs are aspects of normal conversation. They aren't. This kind of negativity is toxic and defending one's heart and spirit from its effects requires so much energy that creativity and the energy to express it, e.g., thinking of ways to succeed at real estate investing that haven't been tried before or just thinking your way through an REI-related challenge) are greatly impeded.

So...if you're at a family picnic and the Cousin from H___ is there criticizing or insulting everything you have to say about your decision to become a real estate investor, you can let it float past you like a cloud in the sky because you don't have to take that person home with you. But what if that person is your partner or a highly verbal teenager who assumes that because you're now the same height you are social equals. The teenager will have to accept limits or suffer an appropriate consequence. And what about the partner? Exactly the same thing: Accept limits or suffer an appropriate consequence. You say, "I understand you don't like the choice I have made and I'm not going to try to change your opinion, but insulting me or my choice is not okay, and if you choose to do that, I will end the conversation and/or leave the room if I have to."

If we're embarrassed about having tried something big in the past and failed because it didn't work out or we didn't follow through, especially if that something involved an outlay of money, we might get the silly idea that we somehow deserve the criticism. There is no law that says failing something in the past is punishable by endless reminders of that failure by people in the present. Someone not trusting that you'll follow through may be a legitimate issue, but that does not give someone the right to verbally abuse you.

About that important thing called trust. Occasionally as I sift through different posts here on the DG site I come across someone who says they're not sure if they can really do this (REI). There is a lack of self-confidence. To build trust with yourself you need to make a promise to yourself and keep it. It doesn't have to be a big promise. It could be as simple as making 1 phone call or looking up 1 thing you don't understand. Say to yourself, "Today I promise myself I'm going to post 1 ad," or whatever it needs to be to keep moving forward with your dream. When you make a promise to yourself and keep it, you are proving to yourself that you are trustworthy, that you believe in what you can do. Having this foundation with yourself is critical to your success.

Taking this a step further, how do you suppose you would build trust with others? You got it! Make a promise and keep it. If you tell your partner or kids that you'll turn off the computer or put the REI books down and spend time with them, DO IT. Give them a reason to trust you. A promise isn't a sort-a, maybe thing. It's a commitment. The more trust you build in your relationships with others, the more tolerance and forgiveness there will be for you when you make mistakes or fall short. But you have to earn it first. Makes sense, doesn't it?

You can do it! I know you can!

Colleen

thanks for contributing colleen !! i am sure many will see your advice as valuable and i agree with everything you have shared!! trust IS a big thing and that is well said about promising to do something and then sticking to it !!! i have been guilty of getting on this site for many many many hrs and missing supper or not going somewhere or not doing something i said i would do!!! i know it is a give and take but when i get focused on something as great as this site i have developed an unbreakable mindset!! i have actually trained my mind to learn this no matter what and it IS working !! although i am learning now that i must keep them promises to family or not be trusted as you say !! totally agree and i am totally working to overcome that.my wife and i are enjoying more time together and she is being more accepting as i am being more aware of things.for the last year i was not aware of many things around me because i was engulfed in this soooooo much!!! I WANT TO SUCCEED and I WILL but i am learning it takes tremendous work to walk the balance beam.it is hard for some people to understand each individuals circumstance but i think the path is much the same.keep focused....dont let ANYTHING DETER YOU......keep that trust.....do what you say you are going to do ....treat others with respect,stay determined.....keep dreaming....do it .....dont give up .....STAY ON THIS SITE !!!!

kelly:way to go on joining the academy ~!~!!!!!!! that was the right decision !!! now u have a great path to follow so dig in and do what has to be done,you mare on your way to success !!!

awesome that this post and colleens advice has helped someone !! and thank you for sharing your thoughts and experience to help others.GREAT that you are working on the mind setup as i know that is what i did to start and now it is a HABIT to get up in the morning and think rei.also a habit instilled now to think rei every minute of every day!!! i know i need to back off JUST a pinch sometimes because i get so focused that everything else comes 2nd but i am working extesively on that !!! keep up the motivating lessons on this post and thank you to everyone including you tammy !!
jay

Hello,

First of all, I want to thank you for creating this forum. I really need inspiration. My husband has been the biggest thorn in my side, and so non-suppoertive it seem to get harder and harder everyday. I just wish he would share this great journey with me, but all he wants to do is shoot my faith down every time I build up enough to take action.

I feel he should be the one, and no one else. I am trying but it is very hard. Do I stop trying to include him and just do this alone? I am determined, but what do I do about my un supportive spouse?

Thanks,
Asia

Asia, I think you've just taken a step in the right direction by coming here for support. Yes!!!

Okay, everyone, here's what comes to mind on the subject of unsupportive partners...

One of the first major hurdles to get over in any serious relationship is the one that deals with expectations. I don't mean the simple ones such as who is going to take out the trash. I mean the ones we're emotionally vested in, that rock our world when challenged by reality. When couples start out and everything seems to click so easily, it's hard to imagine a partner not buying into your every idea. There comes a time, though, even in the very best of relationships, when one partner does not react as expected to an idea or goal that is very meaningful to the other partner. If the partner is supportive in most other areas of the relationship, the issue probably has more to do with an unrealistic expectation that just because you're in a committed relationship your partner should want to do everything you want to do. Marriage is not a merger of identities, it's an experience shared by separate individuals. A partner not sharing the other partner's interest in or enthusiasm for something should not be construed as a failure or betrayal of the marital relationship. A person who insists their partner participate in an activity or new venture the partner clearly is not interested in is likely to meet with at least some resistance. The problem at that point is the power struggle. The fastest way to discover whether a partner is really obstructing your progress with REI is to stop trying to convince him or her to do REI with you. None of us has any control over our partners' interests. Sure, it would be terrific if they were as excited about REI as we are, but it has to be okay if they're not. Since we can't change our partners, we change ourselves, in this case, our expectations about marital roles.

If you're relationship is healthy, you should be able to tell your partner you're going to go work on REI stuff for an hour or two without all heck breaking loose. There should be no insults or other demonstrations of anger, passive or otherwise. If these things are happening and talking about them doesn't get to and resolve the underlying issue, you should seek the advice of a professional to explore the situation further. Healthy relationships don't hurt.

Learning a new vocation takes time, commitment, and fortitude. I'm impressed by the courage and determination I see demonstrated by so many DGers, and I agree completely that in order to succeed you must have your eye on the goal and a "refuse to quit" attitude. Since this forum is about REI and relationships, I'd like to suggest that the ultimate goal should be to succeed at REI with your relationships healthy and intact. Not all relationships will survive the journey, but most should if the relationship isn't abandoned in the process.

If you have that wonderful ability to hyperfocus on REI...like when you're working on REI time seems to stand still...it's important to remember that for your partner and kids, time is trucking along as usual and for at least part of that time, they are missing you. Think about that. Let yourself feel what it would be like to always be waiting for someone to have time for you. If you're at home, it isn't fair to ask them to go hours and hours without interacting with you. Try this: When you're working on REI, set an alarm that goes off every 1 to 2 hours, and when it goes off, go check in with your family. Live in the present moment and give them your undivided attention. Do NOT talk about REI...your focus should be on THEM and what THEY need, not you. Even if they're watching TV and don't really want to talk right then, the fact that you voluntarily stopped what you were doing to seek them out will mean a lot to them. If you do this consistently, REI won't become their competition, it will just be something you're interested in.

You can do it! I know you can!

Colleen

These stories make me smile as they are all weaves of bits and pieces of a whole tale of how my fiance, now husband would just DISS me about real estate investing. It's a SCAM, SCAM, SCAM.... he keeps on drilling this in my head, and my head is just too hard to take this, yes - I am stubborn and I agree in face with him (to please him and not delve into an argument) but deep inside, I KNOW THE FIRE IS BURNING AND IT IS A WONDERFUL WORLD OF REAL ESTATE INVESTING! He is a DREAM STEALER - as Dean would call him. It is the truth for now that I have to live with, so I have lived my life in certain restructions. I engage in conversations that are interesting to him and be in the moment when I am with him but on the other end, I keep time for myself- where i study, learn and miggle with people with zest for investing. True there maybe a separation there but it keeps life manageable, and easier. I dont have to preach what I believe, even to my husband.

I too have bought and tried various things to bring in extra income. This one doesn't leave anything out. Thank God! As for my husband, his position is that everything is a scam. I should find another job( my body can't take anymore physical labor). All negative, however, he will talk about what to spend the money on, just don't ask him anything about his thoughts on real estate, hmmm... Then I had a moment of clarity. I'm a leader that became a follower. We all do it, we follow our spouses because their opinion matters.
I realize now that I have to move forward, (even though I'm entering the unknown as scary as that is) without his blessing. I think he would be okay as long as I don't spend money( ask him for it, lol), but, wait til he realizes he doesn't have to do so much physical work anymore!!! Victory!!!

Tori