spouse or partner does not approve ? WE CAN HELP

this forum is really great and i do thank all that contribute with positive info it is really hard to keep up a positive additude when you have no support at home, and you dont have much time to really apply tools/techniques but you must keep moving in the right direction to make things happen it wont get done by it self.

when i first saw dean on tv and ordered his books i thought ok this will be another guru that i buy ,read and take a little action on but little did i realize i would INDULDGE to learn ALL i can and KEEP TAKING ACTION to really think about retiring young and becoming a millionaire.these r thoughts i have every day of my life now and i am moving forward!!
anyway back to the post.....my wife was NOT on board when i decided to join the success academy.when they called to interview me on the phone she wanted nothing to do with it.now i will tell you we both support each other and r both very positive people and we have been married for 22 yrs,but real estate was not anything she wanted to hear about.i have had a construction business and have been involved in many money making adventures and she thought this was just another one that i would spend time and money on. i started the academy and soon spent many nights on dg.com where i was posting and learning everything i could .many many hrs were spent studying and reading and researching,looking for deals,trying to sell,trying to buy,posting,reading,talking to agents,attorneys,bankers,owners,students,brokers,and the time list goes on and on. ALL this while working in and out of town 60 -80 hrs per week and sometimes more. welllll who would want to support someone who does not spend any time with you or does not recognize your their.i was SO FOCUSED ON REAL ESTATE that my family life was second to real estate!! I finally read and listened to all deans blogs and videos and read totally fullfilled and finally learned that i CAN DO REAL ESTATE AND LIVE A TOTALLY FULLFILLED LIFE TOO. i was beginning to think that in order to do what i really want and need to i have to put other things on the back burner.as dean says we need to take something off the shelf in order to pu something new on.well i learned i CANNOT take my family off the shelf to do rei.i have learned to spend more time with my family,more attention,more love,more giving,moregiving to others and just that it was ME THAT had to change and not my family!! i now talk to my wife about rei all the time and she supports me and has traveled to arizona a couple times for the edge event with me.she even suggested that i start this post to help others that were in our situation.
i believe that if each of us gives our own situation without judgement and asks for advice and or gives us advice about their experience on this post it will develop into an awesome learning tool to close the gap on naysayers and will bring many partners,family,spouses together to enjoy their real estate journey. i have more to share and will do so in future posts.who knows maybe my wife will share her side of the story !!

EXCITED,PUMPED,DETERMINED TO RETIRE EARLY AND MAKE A MILLION DOLLARS !!
JAY

DO U WANT TO HELP SOMEONE OUT ?? SHARE YOUR STORY WITH US !!

First off thanks Jay for starting this post. My wife Veronica and I will be married for 24 years this summer. My wife came from a family were her Dad was a self-employed TV technician and owned 3 rental properties. My Dad was a very hard working GM employee that only rented his homes.

In our story, my wife was the one who always wanted to start a business and I was the one who said I would rather work over time and get paid more money than to own a business. We did start a DJ service for weddings in 1994 when we lived in Indiana and still do them today in California more as a hobby. Veronica still wanted to start another business and I would tell her no.

When we moved to California in 2002 I finely gave in to Veronica and she started a SMC business in her Father’s TV store front. SMC is where you buy items wholesale and sell them retail. Well it did not go over very well. We sold a few items but the customers going into a TV repair shop did not want to buy home decorations and jewelry.

At the end of 2002 I was laid off from my job that we moved back to California for. I always wanted to be a law enforcement officer so I used the unemployment benefits to put myself threw a Sheriff’s Academy. Veronica supported me 110% she even helped me write my reports while I was in the academy. I was 41 the oldest one in my class. With Veronica’s help and support I got threw the 26 week academy. At this point, I owed Veronica the chance to start her business. We moved to El Dorado County Ca. in 2004 where I work for the Sheriff’s Department.

In 2006 Veronica read the book Rich Dad Poor Dad and started her desire to be a real estate investor. I knew Veronica would do well in real estate and I also remembered that her Father did well in real estate. At this time, we started watching Dean’s programs on TV also. We went to the RD 3 day class on real estate but when they wanted 20k-40k we did not want to spend that kind of money on classes. I was in a bookstore and seen Dean’s book Be A Real Estate Millionaire and I bought it.

Veronica knew my Mom and Dad have always been good renters and told me we should buy a home for my Mom and Dad to rent from us. So using Dean’s strategies, we bought a home in Illinois with no money down for my Mom and Dad.

We bought our home with no money down also using Dean’s strategies. We bought the book Profit From Real Estate Right Now and joined the Success Academy. We have a LLC now and our doing real estate deals right now.

Veronica believed in me when I went to the Sheriff’s Academy at 41 and now I believe she will be a great real estate investor. Now we are a team in our real estate investing.
Steve and Veronica.

Call me different, but if I had a wife I wouldn't worry about if she supports my goal or idea to be a rei. I tend to mute people a do what i need to do to get ahead. Can't have my mate dragging me down.

this forum is a great idea! i know there are many of us who can use the advice, support and encouragement. my significant other has always been extremely conservative, especially where money is concerned. he always thought i was off my rocker about real estate investing and since i didn't have any money, he couldn't understand how i could possibly start investing. we went to a friend's house to play Cash Flow several weeks ago and he had a Robert Kiyosaki trainer there, who coached us through the game. i tell more about this in my journal. anyway, the coach kind of picked on Chuck, my "S O" and helped him win the game by doing things he would never do in real life. Chuck was so impressed that his attitude toward investing has changed. i am a realtor (new) and he goes with me to show houses. i am very picky who i work with and right now i'm working with a couple looking for their first investment property. Chuck is in construction and so he goes through the house with them and explains things to them. (he is not inspecting the house and we recommend they have a professional inspector do that) anyway, we made an offer on a rehab house, which i suspect the listing agent did not send to the bank. i am suspicious but have no proof. it was a low-ball offer because the cost of the rehab is high and the re-sale value is low. anyway, i am also looking for sandwich lease/options and he was giving me advice on what to do when i talk to a homeowner in our neighborhood and who to call to see if i can post my flyers in their stores. i am laughing to myself as i type this because that is a huge step for him. he told me he wants me to make enough money that he can retire; that is my dream. anyway, anything is possible and i keep pressing on.

and thought you were advertising your serives of 'making' the spouse like and support

Like making them an offer they couldn't refuse lol

Cmon Jay, Karen not interested in REI ? lol. I hear that loud and clear. My wife still doesn't believe in it and i already am closing on my first deal with no money out of pocket she says im going to be arrested soon lol. I wouldnt subject you to her rath because I like you My wife is a full blooded thick headed Italian with a short fuse ;0
But she is also a great mother and wife and a heck of a cook
If I ever get her to believe maybe I can go on that cruise with you guys.

great idea to start this thread Jay.
good luck my friend
Richie.

I am new to the DG family i have not started yet i just finished the books,but my husband is not behind me on this everything is a scam to him because we have been scammed many times. But i keep trying to get him to read the books and he promises to but he always has a excuse why he couldn't get started. Well i am 47 i have Lupus and we live in a tiny room smaller than a bedroom,we have no money no home no credit or rather very bad credit and i just can't live like this anymore. When i watched Dean on Television something told me this is it this is what you our supposed to be doing to get your life together. But i feel like i am going to be doing it alone, which is hard for me to do,because i get sick a lot and need his help. How do i get through to him? I could sure use any and all the help i can get before i die of old age in this tiny room broke. I don't ask for much but i want my own home. Also i need help building my buyers list i do not know where to start.You know i have been married to this man for almost 15 years and love him with all my heart but something has got to change and quick.
Thanks guys for listening
Karrie

This is definitely a tough obstacle to overcome when starting out. As for me, I had delved into several money making schemes before Deans program. And I had proudly told my sons, family and friends that I was going to get rich real quick. Of course I not only didnt succeed at that, but lost a good amount instead. So when I started Deans program I had no one to bounce ideas of, share my beliefs or excitement. Then came this site! Changed my life. And here I am two years later pretty successful, with tons of great friends (like you )and an investing partner or two!!!! So I encourage everyone who has this situation to spend as much time on here as you can as your source of support and encouragement. Oh yes - when I was almost done with my first flip and new I was going to walk away with $$$, I told my sons and family and friends. They reacted as I thought - and it was deserved given my history - but when I showed them a check for 21K that changed everything! Now they are a money source for me! So dont waste your energy trying to convince the naysayers...just prove em wrong

met me when I was already in real estate and was working in the music business so she always knew I was unconventional with my hours and mentality.

She always knew I was about making money and nothing was more important to me other than paying my bills and mortgages on time so when I got into RE full time and left music, all she said was "ok"

You started a great post. So many DGers have expressed their feelings about their family/friends who are ney-sayers.

We haven't dealt with this from our family or friends. My uncle is always asking questions and wants to see us succeed. One of our friends is also one of our biggest cheerleaders and always spreading the word about us because he likes that we want to help others as we reach our goals. If other's have negative thoughts about what they are doing they haven't expressed it.

Ooops, I forgot. We have a friend who is a REA and he just doesn't get what we are doing. I don't get angry about it after all we are all entitled to our opinion.

Lea

This is the reason I went with the on site mentor, And yes I spent ever dime I had. And yes Julie was mad as H___. But by seeing someone first hand that had done this really helped a lot. I not saying she was behind me, But at the same time she wasn;t against me and that's the edge I needed. She was really dreading going to the EDGE, I told her when we went She didn't have to go to everything. Well she did not miss one thing and her whole attitude has changed. It just takes some longer than others, And if anyone of the spouses are having fear issues Please feel free to PM me and i will get you a call from Julie, someone that has been on the other in, Wish you all the best of luck.

Randy

Thanks for sharing your stories. Sorry cannot comment on the husband part of it. Single and dis-engaged. My life right now is my sons. I had always wanted to invest in real estate, but seriously began pursuing it two years ago after my late night experience. I could only recall one family member mentioning that I am always talking about real estate. Other friends who know what I am doing, never said anything negative, even if they might have thought it. My mother and sister have always been a continued support for me. In regards to my sons, If I told them that I can stand on my head, they will believe me and volunteer to hold my legs up in the air just to prove it, but I will not put them through that LOL. They always have and continue to support me 100+++%. To be honest, I do not think my life in real estate will be extensive, we'll see. My next goal is my own home, one or maybe two family (for rental). My sons are all grown up and I am sure by next year will think of moving out. I am only looking to live a comfortable, debt free, stress free life. God Bless

JB,

I hope this blog will help many who encounter these problems. I have talked to many that are skeptical and my own two sisters think I am crazy and it won't work. They don't say it but I can hear it in their voices and responses when I answer their questions about my REI. Therefore, I asked one sister and I am going to ask the other one also to pray daily for the success of my REI efforts. My other sister whom I had not heard from for nearly 10 years started calling me several times a week after hearing about another sister's stroke while having a small aneurysm repaired. She even sent me the DVD of The Secret. (I have already read the book.) By the way, the DVD is better than the book. In case you are wondering, I am 1 of 7 children. She is talking about either moving in with me or near me here in Florida since we are both, at this time, single. I hope she will end up joining me in my REI. I am also hoping my oldest son will join me too someday. I loaned one of Dean's books to my daughter's friend's mother and she seemed interested and took the book but is now going to return it because she doesn't believe and she never opened the book.

I KNOW this works because I did complete 2 flips back in 2004 & 2005. I just need to get it started again ( I fell off the REI wagon because of some personal problems). I pray for all the DGers that are trying to get going every week. They will succeed soon if they keep believing and keep working. Check out CBrindamour's journal. (http://www.deangraziosi.com/real-estate-forums/investing-journals/35351/...) He is following the recipe perfectly and is moving ahead to REI success weekly. I try to keep up on his journal often for the encouragement that he gives by sharing all of his efforts. Also, he is always willing to give personal help.

Tim

woke up @1a.m june 17th could,nt get back to sleep so i turned on the tube and there was deans new info profit in your town. what a coincidence i had seen the one before profit right now but kept putting it off and all of a sudden it was no longer on t.v. i did not wait a second this time i purchased it before the show was even over. i believe this was meant to be.i had purchased be a r.e. millionaire a few years back and did nothing with it. what a shame for me.anyway i got my material about a week or two later and just now have finished both books and ready to go. my wife of 27 years has seen me waste our money on many other infomercial programs so i know she,s thinking here we go again but this time its going to be different i know that if i do what i have read i will succeed. i,ve been unemployed for 9 months now and feel i have nothin to lose but time. thanks for reading and your support. and thank you DEAN. yours truly rich61

B.C. wrote:

Cmon Jay, Karen not interested in REI ? lol. I hear that loud and clear. My wife still doesn't believe in it and i already am closing on my first deal with no money out of pocket she says im going to be arrested soon lol. I wouldnt subject you to her rath because I like you My wife is a full blooded thick headed Italian with a short fuse ;0
But she is also a great mother and wife and a heck of a cook
If I ever get her to believe maybe I can go on that cruise with you guys.

great idea to start this thread Jay.
good luck my friend
Richie.

Unfortunately for me I am Irish Italian so there's plenty of stubourness there! Lucky for me though when I make up my mind for something nothing stops me till I get what I want. I just don't seem to understand when someone tells me I can't. It only makes me want to prove them wrong. My husband is very skeptical. And I already got one property with no money from me. He has to see it to believe it. I'm more about faith. I know God is guiding me down this path. I am definately willing to travel down this road for I know the end results will be worth it.

I am a novice and having problems with my buyers list. I have a great support group from my hubby and older children, but the proof is in the pudding. I need to show something quick to satisfy myself regardless of who believes or not. I wish all of you much success and never consider giving up.

To those of us who have spouses this can sometimes be a big obastacle in the way because we would always like for them to back us in everything we do. We all know that this doesn't happen, nor does it happen with family members either. I agree with what Laura Johnson said we just have to prove to them when we make just a little money that this really does work, because all of the talking in the world could not convince them. To EVERYONE in the DG FAMILY KEEP UP THE POST AND KEEP THE INCOURAGEMENT COMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Don't worry one day your ship will come in, YEAH WHAT EVER, I see mine in the waters, I see AH that it it it has something wrote on the back of the boat, oh yes I can see it know, it says "GRAZIOSI THE REAL DEAL"
HANG ON GUYS BUT I'M NOT WAITING FOR IT TO COME IN I'M SWIMMING TO IT!!!!!!

Brian

I've been talking about investing for a number of years now and have gotten other courses in the past. They would give you some ideas, but that was about it. Some even seemed a little bit shady. Since getting Dean's books, reading and rereading them, I knlw that this is the real thing. None of the others put in the extra effort or the commitment that Dean does to make sure that his Family suceeds in their efforts. It seemed to me that all they wanted to do was sell books. I am alone in my quest as far as friends and relatives go. Most of the responses are something like be careful you don't jump in and lose your money, or I'll wait and see how you do, but this just sounds like another one of your get rich quick schemes to me. If I had feelings, they'd be hurt. Just kidding. I'm just too thick headed to listen to them. I'm really glad to have this site and this forum to get so much info and support from. Thank you all.

Johnnym66

My wife is not on board
either, but i've built a unbreakable mindset and will not be detered. Thanks guys for the incouragement.this site is awsome! last night while attending a meting i descovered a FSBO. I am encourage by this and i am persuing this lead.I cant say thank you enough.MAY THE GOD OF HEAVEN BLESS ALL OF YOU MIGHTLY. Cyril.

Well everyone, I see I am not alone Just for the record, my wife has lightened up I mean I did convince her I needed to go to AZ to attend the EDGE and she gave me her blessing. She just wants to see actual money come in hand. I told her my plan doesnt do that ,its a process. wholesaling will do that and I will try that next. So keep working hard and taking action to make it happen. I am living proof that it CAN be done. You just have to give it 100% honest effort. no one is going to do it for you.

Never EVER give up!!
Richie.

All the time you spent looking for buyers is wasted when you have nothing.

Unlike most on here, I believe a buyers list without buyers is like a phone book; lots of numbers, but no reason to call them

I like what you said. I'm ready to start doing more action too. Tomorrow, I'm going to start approaching motivated sellers, yet I don't have any motivated buyers yet. Is that fine that I don't have the buyers or should I start advertising for motivated buyer and speaking with a few brokers to make sure I can get the people into the places that I find?

I also have a family member who is going to give me two houses, one back taxes is owed on it and if I pay that then he will give me the other. both houses need work to get some people into them and I'm going to need some capital to get them remodeled. what ways can I get money to move forward to get them in good liviable condition? I will have the deed to both of them too.
Im also ready as I said to start doing no money down opportunities and I have not enrolled in Dean's Acacemy yet because I keep missing the calls. How much does that cost to enroll? I'm going to get some business cards made and put the website up too.

I found myself struggling with how to get my husband to "come around" to my business way of thinking. I finally gave up and something funny happened. My husband got on facebook and joined "Mafia Wars". At first he was on the computer all the time and I was getting really mad (gave me time to read Dean's books, read the posts here, find other books etc). Then I realized something - what Mafia Wars really was. What a gift from above! I listened to what my husband had built on that silly game and said "gee too bad you don't own all that and get paid to sit on the computer in real life". It actually clicked in his head at that point - THATS WHAT I AM TRYING TO BUILD FOR US !
He now leaves me alone and encourages me. Most people hate their spouses on facebook but not me!
Otherwise I don't think I would have ever convinced him.
I am now working on locking up a multi family bank reo for a back to back closing.

i knew this subject needed attention and i hope more and more dgers share their story because as the title states .....WE CAN HELP.... means all of us that take the time to share what we are or have experienced related to our spouse,family,friends .It is a widespread topic and i believe we all relate to it in one way or another.i love the statement that focus said above that says .....UNBREAKABLE MINDSET !!! BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT IT TAKES TO SUCCEED !!.
thank you for each and every post as i am sure every post will help SOMEONE in their thirst to continue a better life for themselves and their family!
It is great to learn from each dger that posts the different twist and circumstance that each has endured.The best part is to hear how each overcomed it and maybe did something different or THOUGHT SOMETHING DIFFERENT.i know from my experience that the mindset and the way you THINK about something is the major player in making it a reality!!
KEEP THE LESSONS COMING !!and lets help someone else with YOUR STORY

have an awesome day !!
jay

Hi Karrie,

My wife has lupus too, so I sort of know what you mean by being sick a lot. In my case, she's also the one that doesn't understand and .... well anyway, you asked about building a buyers list. A good way to start a list that doesn't cost anything and takes little effort is to check the news paper "for rent" section. Some of these are are landlords and if the deal is rught and in the area that theywant to work in, they'll but another house. Call them and after a little conversation, find out the kind of house they liked and ask if they'd mind if you added them to your buyers list. Most of them will happily say Yes.

Mike R

Responding to jbtoggs, I am in the initial stages of learning about this program. Unfortunately, my track record in looking for new ways to generate supplemental income has not been good and my wife is definitely not on board with this one. I must admit I have pursued some questionable ventures in the past, all resulting in a bit of a mess. So my wife does not have a great deal of confidence in my ability to seek out valid opportunities. Similar to Jay's experience, she refused to be involved in the interview with the academy and gets rather annoyed when she catches me reading Dean's books. Regardless, I am continuing to seek information about this program as I do believe it to be a venture worth pursuing. I hope to re-gain her confidence in me by putting some results "on the board" and eventually working together.

Good to hear there is support out there......

I have been trying to enter the real estate investing business for years and my spouse wants to but can't quite get the controlling the property vs buying the property. I have bought Deans book months ago and was detemined to do it this time, again, not understanding the concept, it makes it hard to look at properties b/c he is always saying it isn't the right neighborhood or house isn't the right kind of house, my response has been not for us to live in, but there is someone who this could be their first house and start...concept just isnt sinking in. When Dean's 3 day classes came about, he did not want to go, b/c Dean was from out of town, so he found a couple that is local who offered the 3-day study for twice as much and both of us had to pay. We went, I didn't learn anything more than what was in Dean's book, but I went, after the class I was determined so I ordered the bandit signs, posted some, i work full-time he doesn't, so we rec'd some calls, he couldn't even make the return calls, when i did, we went to view the property, it was in the wrong neighborhood again, so nothing came of those calls. He then found a "Rich DAD pOOR DAD 3 day seminar and wanted to go to that, we paid again and went, the really teach approaching banks with their REOs, we have no money and our credit is shot, but that's really what my husband understands, buying REOs with cash and if we had it or i should say when we make enough investing, repair our credit i want to outright buy some REOs and hold them for now I just want to control and pass the deal on..thans for listening, i am determined to do this, with or without my spouse

thank you all for your story contibution.

steve and veronica: thanks for your experience and what a great team you two are making.glad to see you working together on this rei adventure!! keep up the great work !!

linda: awesome learning tool and game ...cashflow.i also have it but cant get many to play!! did get one guy at work to play on lunch break and he beat me twice !! same guy that thought rei with deans books and all i have learned since joining the academy was ****!! now he is interested in what i learn and even wants to know how he can buy a property for income!! back to the main point ....so cool to hear chuck is on board and the story about cashflow is neat!!!.that would be awesome if dean developed a game !!! i am sure he would sell alot of them .chucks construction background is extremely valuable in the repair end of rei !! awesome to hear the both of you are making it work !!