Dean Graziosi Weekly Wisdom #148 - This Negotiation Secret Gets You What You Want

Dean Graziosi Weekly Video Blog
Whether you're talking to an agent, a seller a buyer or anyone, there is a secret to saying the right things and getting what you want. Interestingly enough, this one secret will also remove any fear you have ABOUT the conversation.

In this segment of the 'Weekly Wisdom' you'll discover what the secret to successful negotiating is and you can use it everywhere. From your real estate endeavors to your interpersonal relationships. So give it a listen and have a great week!

I always tell my boys that

James L. Kendrick's picture

I always tell my boys that you learn more as a listener then a speaker. It's nice to see that you agree.

Listening...

AndyS's picture

It's the greatest gift to have and the hardest gift to give.
When you are trying to help someone, you have to address their situations, their concerns, their fears. How can you do that if you don't listen first.

Great Weekly Wisdom!!!

Andy Sager
DG's AndyS

Agreed

jade_east's picture

Teaching at a college, I see and use this all the time. Listening takes the focus and the pressure off the presenter and keeps the attention on the exchange, and mirroring back verbally makes sure everyone is being clearly understood.

What does listening mean?

pablolinzoain's picture

Thank you Dean! great!

First, listening is actually broken down into 2 specific functions. The first obvious function is the reception portion where we receive the message from the person speaking.

The second function of listening is how we decode or interpret the message that we receive. This is the tricky one.

Thank you Dean

steve and veronica's picture

For yet again another great blog of wisdom.
I for one know I need to keep my mouth shut more with all of my REI dealings. Thank you for all of your help. We will see you this week Dean in AZ.

Steve and Veronica.

fully develop our own negotiating strategy

pablolinzoain's picture

The listening process described by Dean does not mean or suggest a negotiator should remain passive. We have our own business objectives and positions to put forward and defend. It is meant to allow us to gain valuable information, that we can use to our benefit and possible advantage. At the same time enabling us to learn more about their positions and business objectives. Having more information at our disposal, also allows us to fully develop our own negotiating strategy.

One of the best "secrets"

steinway024's picture

Dale Carnegie talks about this in his old but timeless book "How to Win Friends and Influence People". Anyone who hasn't read this really should. This is why a script can only take you so far. You really do have to ACTIVELY listen. I say ACTIVELY, because you can't just let someone's words go by you, unprocessed and then get back to your script, whether that script is on a piece of paper or in your head. We are dealing with living people, and we never quite know where a conversation will go. I'm not saying relinquish control, but just echoing Dean's good advise. Listen, process, react.

Powerful Tip...Thanks Dean!!

ljpalmer's picture

I don't know how many times I've heard this before but it never fails to slip into the background of my daily interactions with people. Thanks for the reminder to listen more than you talk and understand that opportunities to learn, grow and make money will present themselves because of that. Thanks again Dean!

If we...

thishousebuyer's picture

Listen 90 or 95% of the time, and talk 5 or 10%, our lives would be so much better. Also, I've heard someone that people don't care about how much you know, until they know how much you "care".

did it again....lol!

bamagirl6730's picture

Thanks Dean....you did it again! Another great blog.

We've all bumped through this in the beginnings. I Know I have talked myself out of deals. Once you get a little experience under your belt, gain some momentum and take the pressure of and start enjoying people and having fun with your business. You treat people as people NOT as transactions. STOP focusing on what they can do for you or what you can get out of them or how much freaking money you can make on a property and START focusing on how you can be a problem solver, how you can be a value add, and what you can do for them! Goes for PML, sellers or buyers and ANY acquaintance you meet or utilize services. TRUST me, this one shift in mindset and actions can make a 180 in your business / life!

Think about it guys, if what you focus on you get. Where is there to go if all we focus on is the 'me' in the equation!?!

Majority of the people you will meet or talk to only focus on themselves. We ALL know where following the 'masses' will get you! NO WHERE! So STOP it. Be different. Close thy mouth and open thy ears! Smiling

As I always say be hard on the problem and easy on the people. There is always a demand for problem solvers! BUT you can't be a problem solver if you never hushed long to hear it OR created an atmosphere that allowed them to open up!

just my .02 whheewww that was close, I almost started preaching there! LOL!!

Thanks again Dean!
God bless,
Jen Gray

Somebody on staff must have

Olu's picture

Somebody on staff must have an iPhone because I am now able to watch these videos without having to be at a computer. Great Weekly Wisdom Dean. I'm going to put that to work tomorrow w/ my buyers, leads and my agent.

Great message Dean!

RENinja's picture

Thanks Dean, listening to you speak is really inspiring and uplifting. I see that quality in my Mom. People come to her just to talk about their life and whats happening to them! It often seems like half the town knows her through that simple, yet powerful ability. I also recommend Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People. When I read it at age fourteen, that book changed how I treated people around me, and made me consider what I say, before I say it to others.

Thank you Dean!

Valuni's picture

You always have something great to share with us!

You are so right! It makes a huge difference when we change our mindset from thinking how can we get this deal? to 'what problem does this homeowner have?' and 'how can I help solve this problem?'
It's very simple really, for every word we speak we shold listen to two words spoken by the other person! Usually the answer is given to us during the first ten minutes of a conversation, provided we are listening!

And we all should be taking care of our bodies and minds as well; yoga is amazingly good for everyone!

Listening, learning, and progressing every day,
Valerie

Thank you for caring...

Hello Dean Graziosi and the DG family,
Thank you for this message. I appreciate your genuine care for others and willingness to share yourself and your experiences to benefit others. This is a very real quality that attracts people and makes them want to partner with you. I already, though I am relatively new to this program, feel heard and understood; because you have taken the time to speak to your students, impart experience, and share aspects of your life and your family. I also appreciate all the bloggers and mentors that sacrificially have given their time to assist others. As I get more knowledgeable, I want to share that kind of helpfulness as well. Thank you for the servant leadership, and that wonderful 30 days to quick cash flow book. It is very well done, simple to follow, and I appreciate it being broken down in a step by step process. I feel like I can do this, and I am grateful to you.

Sincerely,
Northwest Susan

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me". Phillipians 4:13

i love you too Dean

armendariz5's picture

i need to hear what you shared with the DG Family.Know that's true wisdom.
Listen more, and learn what you don't know, ant that the truth.

Armendariz5

Great Advice!

Rick888's picture

Thanks Dean for reminding us of this. I'm going to meet with a potential seller Tuesday and I'll be sure to put this technique to work.

I guess that old saying is true...."We have 2 ears and 1 mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak."

Have a great week!

Rick

Good Advice

zrscott's picture

You are correct, not enough people know when to stop talking and listen.
- Russell

very good comment. thank

pablolinzoain's picture

very good comment. thank you
pablo

rick: i love your frace:

pablolinzoain's picture

rick:
i love your frace: ...."We have 2 ears and 1 mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak."...great
thank you
pablo

Great Advice

PaulYoung4ever's picture

This was short and sweet, right to the point, the best advice anyone could give their students. Listening is at first a choice, then it becomes a skill that can be improved on every day of your life. There's listening, then there's really listening. Initially, most of us have a problem listening and remembering what we heard. If you will set a goal of listening with the purpose of putting it into your own words and repeating it back to the person you are listening to, then wait for their response, you can overcome a bad habit of not listening carefully enough to hear what you really need to hear. Too many times we hear what we want to hear, instead of hearing what is being said.

Keep quiet, listen

Great advice Dean. Fear can paralyze you from beginning a conversation. Thanks for this bit of info.

listening

I think this is the key to all successful relationship, like you say, be it in real estate, personal life...all of it.

It is said that we have two ears and one mouth for a reason.

Thanks, Dean.

Listen

Good stuff as always Dean. I taught Dale Carnegie sales course early in my sales career and the rule was, even when you know your pitch thoroughly "Talk 40% of the time and listen 60%' This also works well in personal conversations!

Listen first ask later !

bigdogs1's picture

I have always believed you must hear things out first by listening to what others say who have the experience that you are seeking . Kind of like respecting your elders because they know a lot more than you do and then after they are finish speaking you then ask them something you don't understand.

Don't know

When your learning something new, you don't know, what you don't know. Therefore you don't know what questions to ask. Jade East was right when he said "listening takes the pressure off you" Just be quiet and learn what you don't know! If your still alive you should learn something new every day. Nobody knows everything, but if you listen you will know a lot more! This applies to making mistakes too, you don't have to make them all yourself, learn from others mistakes, first you have to listen!

Listen

Silence is golden, I get it!!!

Selfcentered

chuckmc's picture

Our nature is to be selfcentered. We have to care more about others than we do ourselves, in order to hear and not just listen.

Thank you again for your

bahney's picture

Thank you again for your encouragement. It seems so simple. We have to step out of our comfort zone and start conversations and listen to others.

Reminding Me What I Already Know

Captain777's picture

I have been in sales and just around for a while. I have heard these same recommendations many times before. BUT---- To get the reminder and start thinking about it AND applying it again is so valuable. Thank you for the reminder Dean. "I needed that!"

now you know

reinvestor42's picture

why you have 2 ears and 1 mouth

be a problem solver

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