Dean Graziosi Weekly Wisdom #159 - Down Around The Holidays?

Guess what? Dean has to put forth effort to be happy. This week he shares a seriously intimate and totally transparent story of his near disastrous Thanksgiving day .

He almost ruined it for himself and his family, but miraculously, was able to flip a mental switch and save the day. If the Holidays get you down or you struggle with sadness ANYTIME of the year, Dean's message this week is good medicine.

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Thank you so much for sharing Dean

I love it when you are transparent and allow us to look inside of your life and may I say, I am proud of you. Changing our thoughts and our own direction is definitely the key. It is a choice and we do get to choose and start new traditions. You just turned 43 and I am 63. I am alone now for 27 years with a brother in Colorado and a sister in Kansas. We all have our own anchors so we are never together for the holidays. So, 27 years ago I decided how I would celebrate the major holidays. It was tough being alone and I went from single to married with instant family that gave me 4 sons. Eight years later the hubby made a new choice, took the sons and left. Lost contact with my guys until this past summer and saw 2 of them. They are who they are because of me. I planted the seeds and gave it my all to give them a good life. I was proud of the way they turned out and the youngest told me that he was very glad that I am the one he calls Mom. Wow! Well, they are in Missouri and Illinois so I still don't get to be with them for the holidays. I am a woman of strong virtues and put all my faith and trust in the Lord. I decided back then when everything fell apart that my best revenge was going to be to live well within my means whatever those means are. So I take myself out to the Raddison Hotel and get a table looking out on the water and fountains. Then I indulge in free flowing champagne, orange juice and coffee. I get to eat seafood, salads, all kinds of entrees and goodies. Its around $40.00 and I could not buy all the stuff to have that at home. This year I could not go because I did not even have the $42.00, but you know what, I did not let it get me down. We just happened to have heavy rain on Thanksgiving until early afternoon. I made a good breakfast and watched the Parade in New York. All is well when we don't have stinking thinking. I give my love to one and all and wish all of you happy holidays.

Just for the record: I went to motivational all day seminar a few years back and Zig Ziglar explained how stinking thinking can mess you up. Also I did come to terms 27 years ago with the fact that my father was an alcoholic. So, I took myself to alanon and divorce recovery workshop and other support groups because I wanted a better life for myself. I share these facts hoping it will help others and I want you to know it is very important to realize that there is always hope and endless opportunities. Never ever give up and do like Dean says. Take it one step at time, have a plan and goals.

thank you

Jay Sthilaire's picture

this is why I keep listening to your blogs !!! everything you said means something to me and INSPIRES me to be grateful and makes me proud of myself to have developed the EFFORT to change my way of THINKING ...when it NEEDS to be changed.I dont know how many times i have felt the same way ....POOR ME ....and after learning and developing the POWER to make a shift in thinking...bring yourself to whole new level of REALITY !!! ....that POSITIVE,LOVING,GIVING,FANTASTIC AMAZING ...YOU !!!! oh how much better it is for EVERYONE !!!!!!!! thanks for all you do !!!! this blog sure made my day better....

Great video. Through the

travisderod's picture

Great video. Through the power of words we can create what ever it is that we want. Speak it into existence.

One of my best "secrets" to success is taking time the night before to plan my next day- Then I refine it in the AM and I hit the ground running with the most important things I will get one right away. Do it for 7 days and you'll be hooked! - John Assaraf

Stinking thinking???

hunt4success's picture

That's what Esteeanna above wrote. Sounds like something I hear in my 12 step recovery meetings. I wonder if she is a friend of Bill W? I am and I can relate to your message Dean. I have recently learned and practice a "Gratitude list" when I feel down. I live in an Oxford house. Was alone for Thanksgiving and felt depressed because I was now much deeper in debt after dropping $15 grand for your program and wondering if I had just made the most fatal financial mistake of my life. This is going to be "Sink, or Swim" for me. That old negative voice in my head says," You will now be bankrupt and homeless."
My new developing positive attitude, mindset,"Nothing will stop me now", however gives me hope and insurmountable energy to utilize everything in your materials to succeed and have my piece of the American dream. I think of what Thomas Edison said, "Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up"
Thanksgiving I helped out at a local DC soup kitchen for the homeless. When I see people less fortunate than I it always make me feel better and gets me out of that funky depressive mood.
I am grateful that I watched your infomercial and am now learning the steps to take control of my financial future via real estate investing. I plan on being one of your Top students, like Matt Larson. In fact, I am already in the process of working on a "Bird Dog" deal with a local Buyer and hope to close this prior to my mentor coming next month.

PS. Besides, I want my tuition back. (lol) Already sent my reimbursement papers into SKWcentral for that tuition back...SWEET!

Forever Grateful, GOD BLESS YOU DG!


You have a standing invitation at our house!

steinway024's picture

There's always enough chairs to pull around the table for you and your family Smiling
I really like what you did. Be grateful for starting your own traditions. When Nick and I left Cleveland and moved out of state, we were in our early 30's with 2 young kids and having that first Thanksgiving "alone" - I started out sad - But by the end out the day - no one arguing about whether the turkey was under or over cooked, no one competing to carve the bird, no ridiculous excess of desserts and no family petty bickering - wow - we had a great day! Now my 4 kids and family gather around our table. It is a blessing and yours will grow too.
But - remember - you can join us anytime if you're yearning for a full house!

Stinking Thinking

silverhound's picture

Great job Dean (as usual).This site is so unbelievable.The great advise combined with
compassion for fellow DG'ers is most definitely
not found on any other site.Yes hunt4sucess we
can start our day over any time we would like
to and every day could be Thanksgiving for any
of us if we chose to have the right mindset.
God bless & Happy Holidays

Thank You

Olu's picture


Thank you for everything that you share with us. I met you for the first time this past Thursday at the Edge Buyer's Summit and it was truly an honor and a pleasure to meet you. I have yet to do my first deal and although I hate to admit that, I'm as determined as ever to clear that hurdle and any other obstacle that stands in the way. Thank you for signing the other books that I brought with me to the Summit. I look forward to coming back to Vegas and buying my first property after a completing a few (4 or 5) wholesale deals. You have completely changed my mindset and outlook on the future.

Thanks again,


P.S... Humble,tiny,microscopic suggestion:
(Welcome to this edition of Weekly Wisdom.)

Because of you, Dean

AndyS's picture

Let me start by saying that I'm glad you did spend the time making memories with your family. In the end, it's the most important thing.

I have been a shut-in/recluse for longer than I care to say. I had just as much right to say "that the world stinks, and poor me" as anyone else. Thankfully, I didn't have the upbringing that you had.(No offense.) I had the stable family unit, parental inspirations and family gatherings. In spite of all of that, I was an unhappy child and it carried on to my adult years for a long time. It's the way I thought about things all the time. It's through my association with your organization that I have changed my way of thinking and a whole new world has opened to me. No pills or shrinks or therapies necessary. Just a change of thinking.

Just yesterday was my birthday. Prior to this year, nobody but my family ever knew when it was. I usually either worked on my " special day" or when I was married, my wife knew that I celebrated the day by being alone. There were no gifts, no dinners no recognition of the day and over time, I became fine with that and expected nothing more. In an effort to change my world this year, I divulged in my DG daily blog that it was my birthday. I expected nothing from that other than doing something different to get a different result. What a surprise when our DG Family responded the way they did. You may have even seen a thread about it. What a difference it made in my life. It also came on a day that I was supposed to have had my first real deal (which wound up falling through.) I could have very easily said " see, another crappy birthday in another crappy year." But I didn't let that get me down. I took the positives of the day and made it a better day. I went out and celebrated instead of wallowing. I'm still riding the high. The power of positives over negatives. You taught us that! You control how you think about things. The ole' turning lemons into lemonade philosophy.
So the next time you are feeling down or undersatisfied or consumed with negative thoughts, I want you to think about a scene in the movie Moonstruck. The set up is not really pertinent but the dialog is. Nicholas Cage confronts Cher resulting in her slapping him in the face and telling him to "SNAP OUT OF IT!" The next time you need a thought changer, think of that scene, feel the slap and SNAP OUT OF IT!!!. (It works for me Smiling )

Now we have both shared intimate details of our lives. I feel better. How about you?

Till next week...
Andy Sager
DG's AndyS

Thank you, Dean!

Vanoe Investments's picture

Awesome illustration for us and experience for you. Thank you for sharing.


Enjoy your messages!

TomAndJeri's picture

Dean, i enjoy listening to your bloqs late Sunday evenings. It is interesting, i have my family all over the place too, Venezuela, Houston, Norman, etc. But today i had my wife and son making Hallacas, which is a typical Xmas dish in my home country. This is something that you would normally do with your parents and sibblings, but this time, it was only my wife and my son making this dish. It tooks us several hours to prepare this dish and we had so much fun together. Thanks for sharing your personal story.


Jan Malek's picture

Hey Dean, Jan here from Jan and Jeremy. I've gotta say that this one TRULY HIT HOME. Won't go into the details but this one hit me.
Thanks to you and everything you do day after day after day....Jan


PaulYoung4ever's picture


Thank you Dean

steve guy's picture

I appreciate your candor and advise so much....prefect medicine. Connie and I have semiliar family problems, with old issues that affect the happy times. But I WILL start looking at them in a different way and start making some changes that will hopefully mend some of these broken fences. Thank you for the insight!

Merry Christmas!!!

Flip the Switch!!

Hi Dean,
I think its impossible for anybody to go a day without thinking a negative thought or two, but its the people that "flip the switch" like you said, and change that negative thought into a positive one, that are successful and happy. I'm not much of a reader, but I'm reading a book right now called "The Magic of Thinking BIG", and I can't put it down. It is such a great book on staying positive and becoming successful at whatever it is you desire in life. I highly recommend it to anyone in the DG family!!..Oh and by the way Dean, I can tell you have been working out. Your arms are lookin' pretty good! Next blog give all of us a biceps pose!! Smiling

Thanks Dean

I did fly home to VA to visit the family. I talked to my father about your program and got the same negative answer, that the only one making $ is you who is selling the book. I was hoping that he would work with me on this as he has a Broker's license. I'm even more determined to make this work. God Bless!

holiday blues

Have a reality check! You can change your thinking - you can not change someone else's thinking. So yes, Dean is right - what YOU do in a positive way, will help you. And the reality is that YOUR positive thinking can have a reality check on someone else...

It is like when flying, put on your own oxygen mask and then help others.

Thank you Dean~

Thank-you Dean for sharing

Thank-you Dean for sharing this.

Good for you!

Angie's picture

Hi Dean,
I always loved the holidays growing up. However, this DEC 24th, yep X-MAS EVE my mom passed from cancer. So ever since the holidays have been bitter sweet. Especially since my dad passed just four short years later after 51 years of marriage.
This particular X-Mas EVE is her 10 year anniversary since her passing so we are doing something extra special to CELEBRATE both of their lives. When X-Mas eve comes this year we will be touching down in Madrid, Spain and also going to Morocco. Here we will go into some of the most beautiful places of worship in the world and say a prayer or light a candle in their honor.
I feel blessed in a time that is very overwhelming in emotions. Being able to save for this trip and celebrate their memory by making new ones with my husband is truly a gift. Smiling
P.s. Looking good 'muscles'!

Thanks for Sharing!

ecraft23's picture

Always love your transparency..

I think one of the most important things you've said here, as well as in the past, is that you get to make the decisions on how you choose to spend time with your family. Breaking the cycle! It is saddening sometimes thinking through our pasts, how as kids growing up we didn't have much control in how our lives played out. Our parents did the best they could and sometimes, not so much... but we can never forget that we have a choice! we can choose to learn from their mistakes by not repeating them and start afresh. Then the real challenge...teaching them how they too can change Eye-wink

Thanks for Sharing Dean.

Thank you for sharing! We

bahney's picture

Thank you for sharing! We all get down on ourselves and yes we can choose to make it better by getting up and doing something! So glad you made your Thanksgiving special with your immediate family. We all have to be thankful and do whatever we can in any situation. Thanks again.






jcwp's picture

This is why we love you man. its not just about Real Estate. Having a positive attitude can change our lives. I know I can get in negative moods at times, but I try to snap out of it quickly. Our thoughts are so important. Negative thoughts and attitude will only bring you more of the same. When you are happy and positive you receive the same back. This is a great lesson!
Thank you for your continued support. Success to all!

Hi Dean, And who would ever

angelala's picture

Hi Dean,
And who would ever imagine that you had any problems ?? You are always so busy tt pump all of us up with your goodness. We have a small family group also due to alot of unfortunate family happenings...and yes, it is so wonderful to make your own traditions and be thankful and blessed for all that you so proud of you for turning that all around Smiling My daughter and I have a simple family traditon that you and your small family would greatly enjoy if you could carve out the time together...We make sugar cookies together...We use a christmas tree cookie cutter, and some prepackaged pillsbury cookie dough, we make them very simple...only green sugar sprinkled on top, and 3-4 red hot candies on top of that, (they're not really hot), just give the cookies a little cinnamon flavor...don't over cook...they won't look done...but they wil be...just folow cook times...a little mess...a small price to pay for the happiness it will bring to your heart by spending one night together with your little family making sugar cookie christmas trees...A recipe for a little Christmas magic Smiling God Bless xo Angie

Thanks for the Realism from even YOU, Dean!

KatCanDo2's picture

So true Dean, about not letting the negative thoughts rule our day, and so easy to let it happen. But if we can experience how the positive mind set can lift us up that alone will be our magic tool to control our reality as we desire it!

Thanks for putting yourself some reality on what burdens us each day and for giving us hope that we have the power to achieve our dreams!

You are Amazing Smiling

Better than Roses!

Dana Leigh's picture

I reckon your wife would've let you off the hook with a dozen roses. Awesome that you brought the turkey and all the fixin's instead.

I really relate to your blues and the possibility of letting them ruin the holidays. I've done this in the past, too many times to count. Thanks to you... Not This Year! Thanks, Dean.



PRYME Home Buyers's picture

This Thanksgiving I had the same problem. The difference is that my family lives in Spain. But it got me in such a bad mood that I even started doubting real estate, not that it couldn't be done but I didn't want it anymore, luckily my wife helped me wake up and now I'm back at it with all the motivation that I had before and more. The holidays always seem harder when your far away from loved ones but its crazy how your negativity can play games with your mind and affect everything.

We're all allowed bad days but you need to snap out of it ASAP because it never leads to anything good. Always start by being grateful for what you do have, and not just on Thanksgiving but, everyday!

Thanksgiving and Christmas are a time of gathering memories.....

Past memories and new memories at these times of the year are laden with emotional connections that are instilled in our hearts. Any tear or separation from the people that are part of our memories seem to surface and want to be recreated. You are right Dean, we each have to make the decision to sort the destructive feelings from the uplifting ones in order to allow Love to grow and build our new holiday memories for our present families, because we are the gate keepers of our family and friends new heartfelt memories that are now being created. Knowing that we are Loved through all the seasons of our lives is most rewarding, we know, we have been there.
May God Bless us all and keep us all safe spiritually and mentally through this Christmas season!!
Thank you Dean for sharing that part of you with us, it was a blessing.
Nathan and Sandy

Great Advice Dean

femailceo's picture

I know this story well, because I also have to work at being happy. My "Norman Rockwell" family tries to throw me off path and the holidays are such a reminder that I don't really have family. I have been almost on my own since I was a youngster and know I can never count on family when I am sick or hospitalized or anything. They never check on me at all and it really hurts. Luckily even when I get down , I find a way to soon turn it around. It is a life saver!! Great message; I guess I have to also start realizing there are really not that many "Norman Rockwell families!"


TMO28's picture

Holidays like life. I have always looked for the Normal Rockwell life also. Never gonna happen, something I grieve again and again! Your blog is is just like making this RE work and creating the next phase of life. Most of my set backs are how I perceive reality in my head something I know well and wish I would out grow! I can turn my reality around but not as quickly as I would like it takes me awhile to figure it out. This last week I got slammed by the bandits sign blues. We know they're illegal thus I wasn't putting out suggested number and not getting response. I up my numbers, got more calls, but not the ones I wanted really. The Police, Code Enforcement (on Monday, turn in by fellow business owners) and the local newspaper who wrote a blurb painting me,lets say, not in the greatest light! My reality was now no one will work with me, but the real reality is most probably did not see it and they did not name me by name anyway. I do not really know the effect it will have on success, other then Bandits are out and I was just getting on a roll. I have been unsuccessful in this small town I live in as of date, but... it isn't Norman Rockwell!

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